Tiny Rebellions. #FreeWithFee

No matter what size, colour or shape you are, there are fashion 'rules' that you will be told to follow. I am a short, fat woman with an English rose complexion, so here are some things I should never do: 

Wear a maxi dress - it will only drown your short legs

Wear a maxi dress - the floating fabric will only make you look fatter

Dye your hair pink - your complexion is pink enough as it is, that colour will do nothing for you!

Wear anything sleeveless - nobody needs to see wobbly arms, fat rolls, bingo wings, stretch marks... 

Nobody wants to see any body that isn't perfect.

And yet here I am. My fat body is being drowned in light and flowing fabric. You can't even see my teeny tiny legs! All you can see is a shock of pink hair (which seriously needs re-doing! I know!), pale skin and cute little chubby arms. Oh, and a great big smile.

When I took my first steps on the journey of body positivity, I felt sad when I saw people wearing things that I "couldn't" wear, because my body was too this, or too that. But little by little I have added little touches to my wardrobe. Tiny rebellions which break the fashion laws. Crop tops to put over my fat belly and short torso. Vest tops so that my pale, wobbly arms are free. High collars to sit beautifully above my large bust. Being body positive is realising that you never had the "wrong body" to wear certain styles - you just hadn't found that key piece that made you feel amazing yet. The clothes were wrong, not your body.

Forget about policing your own wardrobe, and laugh in the face of anybody who dares police it for you. Be free this Summer! I want to see YOU breaking the rules (rules imposed by yourself, or by others), and absolutely rocking it - share your pics with me by using #FreeWithFee!

Guest Post: Busy Little Barbie.

My friend Tanya from Secret Plus Size Goddess wanted to pop over and say hello to help tide me over during exam period, and to help celebrate the rapidly approaching new layout! Thanks for this super fun guest post idea and a really adorable challenge!

So... when the wonderful Busy Little Fee asked for bloggers to write a guest post for her blog, I immediately said yes, I would be more than happy to do one.

But after that, I went into a bit of a meltdown. What the hell was I going to write that would be suitable for someone else's blog? I mean, my random musings on my own blog aren't going to change the World, and If people don't like what I write, then they won't read it. And that is perfectly fine.

When you are writing a post for someone else, it becomes a different kettle of fish. What I write on her blog can affect her readership, and her stats. So I have to get it right.

But all I ever write about it dresses and family. And adventures. None of those really are relevant to me writing a guest blog post. Or are they?

Having a trawl online for new pretties, I decided I would like to use Sophie as my own personal Barbie. By visiting different sites and choosing things I would love to see her in, and that I think she would like I could get quite a different kind of blog post to my normal ones. So here goes

Getting to know Sophie over the past year or so, I think I have a fair idea of things that she may like (or not like)

Hopefully I have got it right, but if I haven't I am sure she will tell me. Whilst some of these choices may not be the right size for her, I chose to include them in the post as they called to me!

I have picked things that I think are cute, that can be worn solo or combined. It's a bit of an eclectic mix of styles. But I like them.

So what exactly did I choose for her......?

One // Two // Three

Sophie says: this outfit is my favourite outfit EVER. The bee is 100% me and that HANDBAG oh good lord.

One // Two // Three

Sophie says: This outfit is SUPER classy and I'd definitely wear it to a Winter wedding or a posh meal. 

One // Two

Sophie says: GOOD LORD I wish I had the confidence to pull this outfit off right now. I shall make that sweet little fishtail dress my ultimate goal.

One // Two // Three

Sophie says: this outfit is hilarious and brilliant, I am in love with Irregular Choice shoes and if a drink could be a Patronus, it would be this Liquid Sarcasm. The SOSD dress doesn't reach my size, which is super important for me to highlight because I actually considered buying this when it was full price and I couldn't. The brand lost themselves a MINIMUM of £100 and I'm confident there were plenty more plus size babes who would have scooped this up in a second!

Hopefully these would be items that Busy Little Fee would feel comfortable in wearing, I know I certainly would!

Finally thank you to the lovely Fee for hosting me on her blog, I hope you have enjoyed my post!

Tx

www.secretplussizegoddess.com

RI Plus - Here's What I Would Have Bought.

When River Island announced that they would be branching out into a plus size range, there was a collective swelling of anticipation within the plus community. A quick look at their standard range shows that it ends at a size 18, so I don't think I was alone in being excited by the idea of an extended, inclusive range. Could this be a high street brand who would highlight the need for clothing up to at least a size 32? Were we about to get some of the gorgeous clothes that I had dreamed of, but never been able to buy, from River Island? Looking at the River Island standard range, I see sassy clothes worn. I see shapes, colours, denims, slouchy clothes, fitted clothes. An extension of this range into a size that would actually fit me? I was pretty psyched.

And then they dropped the bombshell. 

"Our exciting new plus size range - in sizes 18 - 24!"

I'm sorry, what? What went from an exciting step towards inclusion changed rapidly into a token gesture, throwing three extra sizes out knowing that the plus size community would give them a bunch of publicity for free. So now I'm conflicted. Of course it's important to highlight the need for plus size ranges in every company, but when it ends at a size 24, it sort of doesn't feel like their heart was really in it. The clothes are... Not great. Mostly shapeless, people have said the t-shirts look too short for plus size bodies and the prints don't show as wide a variety as there is in the straight size range. Nevertheless, I had a look through the entire range and there were a few pieces I found my heart panging for. And isn't that the point? I've been excluded from their straight size range and it makes me sad when I see things they don't feel I am worthy of fitting in to. And then they bring out plus size clothing, they show me a couple of pieces I fall for and yet again I am left feeling sad because their clothes are only worthy of people whose bodies are smaller than mine.

BRANDS: there is no reason whatsoever not to stock to a size 32. There is no reason to say "it's only for now" "it's only while we test the waters" "we are seeing how smaller sizes go down first" -  NO! Smaller, independent brands have done it. You could afford to take a hit to take care of your customers. And the funny thing is, you don't realise just how much custom you're actually missing out on by excluding us. Here's what I would have bought.

Split sleeve t-shirt

£20.00

Stripe asymmetric hem t-shirt*

£18.00

Black wet look high waisted leggings*

£22.00

Check shirt dress

£40.00

Lori skinny jeans

£35.00

Slouchy knitted jumper*

£36.00

GRAND TOTAL: £171.00

Yep, that's right. By not including me in your sizing, you lost out on £171.00. And that's just one customer. I also put stars next to the items I was really drawn to, so would be likely to purchase more than one. I would also have listed more skinny jeans but I'm unsure how much stretch your jeans have in them. Do you make clothes to fit fat bodies, or do you just add a bit more material to your straight size designs? These are questions which the plus size community will answer in time, but not by the larger of us. To give you an indication, #Team26Plus currently has 159 members. Can you imagine if the £171 I have just 'spent' was given to you by all 159 members, every season? 

You just cost yourselves over £100,000. Congrats. 

You need to become more inclusive.

For another voice from the plus community, have a look at Debz' post!

Lolly and Interrobang Art.

When we find a brand who are as inclusive as Interrobang Art, bloggers tend to shout pretty loudly about it. Christina offers a gorgeous range of skirts, dresses and other bits and bobs (as well as the fabric to make your own!) in adorable, quirky prints that - get this - range from sizes 6 - 34. Yes, that's right, brands. It is absolutely possible. 

I have been admiring so many dresses and skirts from IA in the last six months, and have even spotted some things I know Paige would like (Adventure Time skirts are going to be a staple this summer!), that as soon as I saw her recent announcement my bank account groaned further. I am never going to be able to afford all of the options I want! Not only are there unicorns, fast food, holograms and rainbows already included in this range, but now the gorgeous Lolly Likes range has graced her etsy page and it is right up my alley.

The range is only available for pre-order at the moment, debuting at £70.00 for a dress, £45.00 for a midi skirt and £35.00 for a knee-length skirt. Interrobang Art clothes are not cheap and nasty fast fashion and yet for the time that goes into the clothing and the quality of the fabric, I think many would be prepared to pay more. Lolly came up with some gorgeous fabrics for her range: aqua, yellow and black as backdrops to floral prints are absolutely beautiful in my mind, and when I get a dress in this fabric (when, not if!) it will have pride of place in my wardrobe. My favourite right now is the yellow because I am ridiculously excited about summer and have been spending my days dreaming of my sunshine clothes. Watch this space: there will be a Lolly Likes fashion post on this blog some time in 2016.

There were two purposes for this post, really. Of course I wanted to praise the adorable, fun range from Lolly - girl done good! But when one of the community succeeds, it benefits all of us. The plus size blogging community has only one goal: for brands to listen to us. When we're telling you that you could sell clothing in bigger sizes, listen. When we tell you that big figures deserve to be dressed in fun and fitting prints, listen. So for a brand to not only listen to us but to actually work with a blogger - that is a huge deal. Bloggers tend to celebrate brands who have inclusive sizing and who listen to us. So today, Interrobang Art deserves a huge celebration in my eyes. I hope more brands take note.

You've heard what I have to say about it - here is what some of my friends had to say about it, too. I'd love to hear what you think!

"I love Interrobang!!! She is lovely too, really listens to her customers"
- Sarah

"I think it's bloody marvelous that they're collaborating on plus size things with a plus size babe who isn't that "acceptable" flat tummy size 16 fat."

- KJ

"Being a 'made to measure' company, it's far easier for them to expand their size range as there isn't the risk of left over stock that most companies experience. Having said that, having a spokesperson like Lolly is a huge step forward, and I will certainly be supporting them as and when I can. 

They're showing the likes of River Island that there is demand, and that the 'fat pound' is worth cashing in on."

- KK

"Lots of people still assume that a majority of plus size women are size 22, hour glass shapes with toned bodies which is why plus size fashion seems to aim itself at that. The truth is that we're all varied shapes and sizes and deserve just as much as anyone else. I love this brand because they literally do something for everyone. They recognise that so many people love fashion and therefore want to be a part of it. After all fashion is supposed to be fun. The fact that interrobang successfully sell clothes in all sizes shows it is possible and that other brands who cry off from doing so really have no excuse"
- Debz

And, most importantly to this range, Lolly had a few words to say herself:

"The range is the interrobang art designs already used but with my choice of fabric. The reason I asked to work with her was because she is so inclusive. I have a couple of skirts by Christina already and love them. If anything her sizes are large as the elastic waist of the skirts. I am a 26/28 and ordered the XL but could easily have got the L. My style of prints are quite different to the ones already in the store. The prices may be a little more than some people are used to but no more than say Simply Be. Plus the items are hand made in the UK by Christina and of limited quantities and you are supporting a Small Business that Supports the Plus Size Community! The fact that all items are made to fit size 6-34+ is fantastic and what every brand should be doing! There is no real reason all brands can't do it! They just choose not to which is why I choose not to support Brands that do not support the plus community."

Beth Ditto S/S 2016

"Where are the fashionable clothes for fat girls that aren’t designer one-offs? Where are the subtle and chic wardrobe staples, where are the crazy statement pieces?"

And so the Beth Ditto collection began. Beth has been saying "fuck you, this is who I am" for a good ten years before I even thought of loving my body, so I was pretty excited to see what was coming from somebody who knew how to dress a fat body. I was not disappointed.

The Looks

I think the first thing I noticed was the diversity of styles, shapes, colours. There were figure hugging dresses, there were slouchy, loose tops, there was everything. I think what is really important about this range is that it is telling fat people they don't have to dress a certain way because of their size. They don't need to be wrapped in loose-fitting sheets (as Beth says she was on designer photoshoots!), but they similarly don't have to be loud-proud-figure-hugging to be body positive. You can be demure if that's your jam (I hate a certain brand owner for ruining that word for me. Anybody else cringing?) or you can be a beacon of light. Beth's range says it's okay to be the centre of attention when you're fat. And that is pretty important. 

Oversized shirt: $120.00, Leggings: $115.00

The Prices

Damn, this is a topic of contention. I have seen a lot of people talking about this - from tweets to Beth herself, to bloggers, to 'the woman on the street' who sees this collection as totally pie in the sky. Firstly, Beth has handled responses graciously: she has explained that this range is ethically sourced and made to last, so prices are a bit high, but she's looking at making some lower-cost contributions as soon as she can. Honestly, I think that's great. But can I just take a moment to appreciate the prices? I'm not saying I'll be buying the whole collection (in fact, even getting one piece is unrealistic for me right now) but what I'm saying is that I like that there is a designer product that fat people can buy. Designers of straight-sized clothes aren't asked to lower their costs, because it is appreciated that the clothes are designer pieces of high quality and style. Why should fat people be excluded from that? I feel like making a truly designer range is incredibly inclusive, and also it gives fat customers value. We don't just need cheap shit! We are worthy of designer luxury too! 

T-Shirt: $65.00, Leggings: $115.00

The Sizing

This is what got me most excited about the range when I found out about its collection. I had initially heard that it was a 14-28 range and I'll be honest, I rolled my eyes. "Great", I thought, "another cut-off points that makes superfats feel less worthy of good fashion". And then it hit me. These were American sizes. You guys, the range is 18 - 32!!! How amazing is that? This is a line dedicated to fitting big bodies. This isn't a straight-sized line with a few token XXLs thrown in for diversity, this is a designer telling us we are worthy of a line being dedicated solely to our bodies. This is amazing. Other designers, take note: there is no excuse not to dress big bodies. Beth Ditto has proved it.

Lola Dress: $245.00

The Models

In complete honesty, this was where I erred slightly on the side of disappointment. The models are diverse, yes. And we can't have all fat, all the time. But the only stomach that wasn't flat was Beth's herself. I have spoken to some friends about this and it definitely seems that I am in a minority of one so far in terms of my expectations of the models, but I think I was hoping for more "unapologetically body positive" models, rather than flat stomachs and wide hips. Maybe this is something that'll happen as the range progresses; I appreciate that many customers won't be body positive and may be put off by a body that isn't dressed in a classically flattering way. I think in my mind I just thought "Beth Ditto = Grunge as fuck and flashing all-sorts" and I pictured her models being the same way.

Jumpsuit: $395.00

The Ethos

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I am completely in favour of this range. Beth wanted to create something that was inclusive, made fat people feel equal and worthy of high-end fashion, and was ethically sourced and well made. She's ticked all the boxes. Sure, it's expensive, but that's what you get when your clothes aren't made in a sweatshop. I think Beth sums this up better than I could: 

“I wanted to make pieces to last years. Beyond trends, beyond chain stores. I wanted to create something all its own, something just for us, made with love and consideration. Made ethically in the USA as a small company with no corporate input. Uncompromising, unapologetic, humane, and timeless. Go-to pieces designed to last.”- Beth Ditto

Denim Jacket: $245.00

Spring Fling.

You guys, I am so ready for Spring. Cold days be gone! Illnesses, I am over you! I am ready to lay back in some sunshine and Summer is far too far away for me to dream about right now - so I'm looking at Spring like the sun peeping through the clouds, and I've put together three rockin' outfits from brands who stock sizes that fit, and know how to dress a gal like me.

Lindy Bop are always, always the first place I look when I feel like a new dress. If I didn't get this floral number, I'd have been all over the Matilda Ice Cream Stripe dress - I've had my eye on that gorgeous little number for a long time now - but I had a vision in my head of frolicking in fields in soft floral and a floppy wicker hat. The British spring time might not be hot enough for this look, but I don't care. I'll whip on a cardi, damnit. I want to frolick.

Things are looking nautical all up in here! The theme wasn't even intentional, I just saw the navy stripe and knew I wanted a nice high-waisted, flowing skirt to tuck it in to. I've had a few tops from Yours and they're always super soft comfy, so they are almost always the first place I look when I'm in the market for a new tee. I don't tend to wear long skirts a lot. In the past this was due to VBO. But I am an enlightened being and it is 2016! So my stomach will get her chance to shine, and she'll be balanced precariously atop platformed shoes, wishing she had learned to walk in anything higher than a flat.

You'd be forgiven for looking at this outfit and not jumping straight to Spring, but it's okay because its fucking badass and I put yellow things in there to make it match the theme. But seriously though, I'm a 'rough with the smooth' kind of girl and I totally appreciate that when it comes to fashion. I like prom dresses and clunky boots, and I like biker leggings and floral headbands. That's just how I roll. I hate that I'm such a cheapskate when it comes to fashion because I am dying to see myself in these togs. 

Alas, the wind doth blow. Spring officially starts next month, but with whisperings of snow at the weekend I am clinging on to pictures of pretty, floral things to get me through. 

Are you desperate for some solar action, too? 

How do you get through the Winter?

Chi Chi! Make Clothes That Fit Me!

Readers of this little old blog will know that I am totally cool with who I am. I love to wear pretty clothes, strike a pose and show fellow fatties that you can look as amazing as I do no matter what your size. I feel I have particular authority on this because I am not what the fashion world would describe as a "good fat" [also named "acceptable fat"], I am somebody who does not have an hourglass figure, a flat stomach or a pretty face. I'm stumpy, rough around the edges and proportioned like a Sophie, not like a fruit. And so when I find beautiful things to wear that will fit me properly, I'm about ready to shout it from the rooftops.

On Thursday night I had the urge to splurge. I knew there were pretty dresses out there, I just needed to find them. Something a bit sparkly, a bit special, something which made me feel like a million dollars when I swished and sashayed and paraded around in all my sequin glory. Several good friends recommended Chi Chi, and as I scrolled through the dresses my eyes grew wider and wider.

Chi Chi Curve is like the holy grail for fat women who want to look like princesses, in my opinion. The dresses are BEAUTIFUL. The hefty pricetag suggests that they're an investment in quality, but I was happy to make a compromise and buy something beautiful and magnificent for a bit more than I'd normally spend, because... Well, because I'm shallow. And clothes absolutely have the power to make me feel pampered and wonderful.

You can imagine how wonderful I felt, then, as I began to look through the tabs and tabs of beauty and magnificence that I had opened, and I realised that each and every single one of them stopped at a 24. I would not be able to squeeze myself into one single dress that Chi Chi had to offer. I mean sure, the styles of some 24s might fit me, but that is beside the point - I am by no means the largest person who wants to wear showstopping clothes, and yet anything from Sophie-sized upwards is made to feel less deserving of glamour than any of their slightly smaller counterparts.

Do brands not understand how frustrating this is? Do they not recognise that this is a real problem in society? Why are people who have more fat rolls than the societally approved number told that they no longer deserve to wiggle into something a little less comfortable but a little more fabulous? Chi Chi - why don't I deserve to see your clothes? Why did you decide that somebody like me was not worth dressing?

And just to let you know, Chi Chi, I had opened HUNDREDS of pounds worth of tabs. Think a pound for every pound I weigh. And because your sizing restricted me from buying anything on your website, I decided to give my money to a company who respected my body. That's the thing with us 'superfats'; in a world with very few choices, we tend to focus our expenditure on one brand at a time and bring a lot of custom their way. Something to think about.

If you would like to rectify your mistakes and include me and my friends in your sizing range, I urge you to get in touch and I would love to spread the word to my fellow fatties.

Until then, sorry. If I'm not good enough for you, you're not good enough for me.

All images taken from ChiChi website

The Five Stages of Body Positivity.

It has been shouted from the rooftops of every body positive blogger: body positivity does not happen in one day. You don't wake up in the morning, suddenly 'healed' of your sadness and ready to shake what your mama gave you in the face of anybody who dared bring your appearance into question. Bo-po is a 'journey' in a sense, but one that doesn't necessarily have an ending - it may not even have a definitive beginning for you. Similar to grief (though the exact opposite in how it feels), it is something that can only be really processed in a manner of steps or stages.

Stage one: Immersion

It's impossible to really believe in something without doing your background research. The way I did this was to follow the blogs of other plus size women. I began with following plus size fashion (or fatshion) bloggers and was completely in awe of not only their confidence, but just their contentment. They were very matter of fact: this is my body, here it is in this pretty dress. They didn't focus on the flaws, and that was what really got me raring to go.

Stage two: Interaction

Reaching out to the people who are inspiring you is vital, because if they speak to you indirectly through their writing then imagine how they can affect you one-on-one. Interact in other ways than social media, too: attend events or seminars, swap business cards, join groups or clubs. Interaction is the only way to progress naturally from stages one to three in my opinion, and is also a helpful sounding board for you to bounce some of your own thoughts and ideas off in a safe and healthy way.

Stage three: Participation

Get out there! Start practising what you have admired in others. Throw on a pretty dress and a swish of lippy (if that's your thing!) and tell the world how proud you are to be you. This doesn't necessarily mean you *are* body positive. This is a key stage that I have also been known to refer to as "fake it 'til you make it". Essentially, this is joining in with the immersion stage; you become one of those people who inspire others. In my opinion, this is the stage where your feelings increase ten-fold, and you really begin to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Source

Stage four: Exploration

I think it's important not just to educate yourself on that which applies to you, but to appreciate the journeys that other people are taking. If you're plus size, look beyond that and read about other peoples' experiences who are different from you, so that you can become their ally. Body positivity, contrary to the name, is not just about the body to me. It is a wholeness of mind and body; in other words, until my body and mind aligned I was not able to feel body positive. Expanding your knowledge and reaching out to others is the way to keep your mind healthy.

Stage five: Continuation

And as I said at the beginning of this post, your journey will never end. There is no day where you sit down and say "There. I have reached body positivity". At this stage it's important to remember that we all have down days. Days where you feel uncomfortable in your skin are absolutely okay and normal, and it's about letting yourself know it's okay and looking back at the previous stages for ways to refresh yourself. 

Source

I believe I'm somewhere between stages four and five at the moment, with five being a stage that goes on for as long as you want or need it to - and will continue to be there for you to always return to.

You're Going to Hear Me Roar.

Over the last couple of days I have had some amazing messages from fellow bloggers, reaching out to me and commenting on the impact I have had on their own body positive journeys. I have been called "vital to the movement", and the lovely Kathryn even said that she felt that 2016 would be "my year". Comments like this are just absolutely amazing, and exactly why I'm doing what I'm doing. Positivity is funny - I made you guys feel good, which made me feel good, which motivated me to make you all feel even better about yourselves. And that's exactly how it should be. Get stuck in the positivity cycle!

When I got dressed today, patting myself on the back for a few days of awesome feedback and happy comments, I wanted to feel like a powerhouse. I grabbed a shirt I'd bought from Yours. I remember trying the shirt on, dismayed that it didn't fit properly but hanging it up in my wardrobe regardless because I didn't want to say goodbye to that gorgeous bejewelled collar. But today I didn't care. It didn't matter that I had VBO. It wasn't important that my arms were drowned in fabric to accommodate for the shirt fitting across my stomach. I wore jeans, also from Yours, with slits in the knees - totally outside of my usual comfort zone of fun dresses. I finished my look with a skull necklace James bought for me and a topknot. I felt fierce. And then, in the car, I blared out Roar by Katy Perry and totally revelled in the fact that this is definitely going to be my year. I was fearless, fabulous and totally out of my comfort zone. And I absolutely loved it.

Here's to you stepping outside of your comfort zones. Here's to posting pictures where your arms are drowned and your eyes are closed, where your hairstyle is different from your norm, where your lipstick is faded, where you're halfway between two expressions. Here's to 2016 being your year. 

I am a champion, and you're going to hear me roar.

The 'One Day' Dress

A month or so ago a 'motivational' photograph was posted on Facebook. "Every woman has a pair of 'they will fit me one day' jeans". I smirked; it wasn't so long ago that maybe I'd have been consumed by that kind of mindset. Obsessing over the notion that "things will get better IF I lose weight", that seems to over-arch the common experience of adulthood. How sad, I thought, to delay happiness because of the size of your clothing, and how well your body fills material based on the number on the label.

And then it hit me. I've still got my 'one day' dress. 

It was 2012 and I was in a charity shop in Kingston, Milton Keynes. Jay found a suit jacket in his size and was really pleased; it was almost brand new and super cheap. I spotted a gorgeous cream dress with a floral pattern on it, and an adorable heart-shaped cut-out over the cleavage area. My eyes were drawn instantly and I needed to have it. Unfortunately, when I grabbed the tag, I saw 'size 18' slapping me across the face. "No matter", thought 21-year-old Sophie. "I'll fit into it one day".

A screenshot from my instagram in 2012. Seeing my own words, and my own insecurities thrown out there for all to see in an attempt at justifying my own body, makes me so sad. Why shouldn't I have "rewarded" myself for the beautiful body I was in, instead of punishing it? My body is capable of brilliant things: in fact, at that very moment there were cells dividing without my knowledge, beginning the wonderful adventure that I now call Moo.

Because that's what I did. I dieted, I got depressed, I binged, I put on weight, I got depressed, and then the cycle began again. But each time was the last time. Every time, I started with a heart full of hope because all of my problems would go away if there was less weight on my body. How could I be sad when I was confident? Who could help but respect me if my stomach was flat? What would I have to worry about if I was fit and healthy? I could go shopping with friends and family without spiralling into depression because all of my attention was focussed on how nothing would fit me. In my mind, if my stomach didn't hang, I could conquer the world.

Anxiety doesn't work like that, and neither does depression. People don't work like that - they don't automatically decide somebody must be a bad person because they weigh more than them - and if they do, they're not people I want to know. I am happier and more confident than I've ever been; I have modelled for a plus size brand (and would be happy to do so again), I take more pride in my appearance than ever [unless I'm at  University. University would be lucky if I washed, let alone brushed my hair or even put some make-up on], I'm super happy to take outfit photos and promote my fat body in all its glory, and I have a solid group of friends who promote body positivity at any size. And so, just like that, I decided to get rid of the 'one day' dress.

I didn't make a fortune; it sold on eBay for about £1.50 plus postage. But it wasn't about the money I could gain, it was about my mental health. This was the last step in accepting that I am who I am and every body, at every size, deserves love and respect. And actually I would encourage anybody who is punishing themselves for being who they are to challenge their mindsets. If not now, then when? 

OOTD: Polkadot Princess

Jay and I had a trip to Bletchley Park planned today (more on that to come!), so I thought it'd be fun to throw on one of my Lindy Bop dresses and take advantage of the pretty background. 

Unfortunately we couldn't find the 'good' camera so I've had to work with phone pictures, but I felt so cute with my fringe all plaited up and my make-up done that I wanted to take the time to capture the moment. 

I bought this Lindy Bop 'Audrey' polkadot dress  in their sale a couple of months ago, at the same time as two others (which will definitely be making an appearance on the blog asap) and I originally chose black and white because I thought it'd look cute with the pink petticoat I wore at my wedding. I actually found that it has amazing shape even without the petticoat, and teamed with my velvet cardigan from Scarlett & Jo for warmth purposes I felt like a vision in monochrome - despite the battered old blue and white slip-on shoes! Jay hadn't seen it before I put it on (I tend to buy things and put them in my wardrobe so it looks like I've had them for months and he just hasn't noticed), so when he saw it he told me I looked amazing, and he loved it when I wore polkadots. I got a bunch of comments about how dressed up I looked and if I was going anywhere nice, and it felt pretty good to say "nope, I just felt like getting dressed up". Long may this continue!

This Girl Can... Can't She?

Being a member of the plus-size community and a lover of fashion is a difficult thing to do in 2015. And honestly, I can't believe I even need to write that. 

Things are better than they used to be; gone are shapeless swathes of drab and misery that fat people were conditioned to hide in for twice the price of straight-sized clothing (unless you're looking at Lisa Riley's new line, apparently made for "real women", probably because pretend women don't feel the need to get dressed in very expensive and very boring clothes) and we are actually encouraged to make the most of our bodies, flaunt our curves and dare to dress in bold and beautiful clothing.

So what's the problem? Well, nothing, if you are what the plus-size industry deems an "acceptable fat". If your size 20 body has a flat stomach, wide hips and a small waist, you are the target market of brands like Evans, who boldly cried that Style Has No Size with pictures of women who were around the same height, had not an inch of VBO between them and had slightly larger thighs than a straight-sized model, qualifying them to represent basically none of the customer base of your average Evans store. 

Does Style Have No Size?

Across the pond, at the height of the "we love fat people! My best friend's cousins are fat people!" media storm, Lane Bryant created the hashtag #plusisequal, a tag meant to level the playing field for plus size and straight size shoppers and state the obvious to the retailers of the world: fat people have money to spend on nice clothes too, and shouldn't be excluded from fashion because of their size and shape. Lane Bryant decreed that even women up to a US34 should be celebrated equally in the fashion world, and they topped this off with their own line of t-shirts for all those women who wanted to spread the message. Except that those t-shirts only made it as far as a US28, excluding the top-end of plus-sizes that the entire cause was set up to represent fairly and equally. Unfortunately, Lane Bryant have been made aware of this serious error but stand by it, claiming they don't understand the issue with only providing a limited range of sizes. The hashtag #plusisnotequal was set up in response, as this epic media-fail reminded us, yet again, the restrictive nature of fashion if you dare to be fat and happy.
Of course, if you wanted to lose weight (and I am most certainly not suggesting that anybody should), you'd think that you could actually buy some clothes to exercise in. Guess again. Forever21's range of "Active Wear" peaks at a US14, telling UK women above a size 18 that active clothing is not marketable to somebody of their body type. Feminist marketing campaign "This Girl Can", started by Sport England, encouraged women to love their bodies and celebrate their strength, challenging the stereotype that women were weak and delicate. However, in another marketing failure, a range of fantastic t-shirts have been released to celebrate female strength. Up to a UK22. So apparently this girl can, as long as she is thin enough.

This Girl Can
Tired of constantly being misrepresented and misunderstood by the retailers in the plus-size fashion world (and actually beyond that, because why shouldn't we be allowed to shop in any clothing store?), my friend Katt over at A Curvy Cupcake started the hashtag #thisisplus. The hashtag was created for all plus sized people to speak up about how they felt underrepresented. I don't look at adverts for plus size clothing and campaigns and see somebody who looks like me, I see somebody that the media considers the "best of a bad bunch". I want retailers to see that we are not a bad bunch, we are sassy ladies who love fashion and want to flash our cash just like any other person. To me, #thisisplus is my cry to retailers to look at me, look at my body type, and represent me. And maybe, finally, make being plus-size and loving fashion be a given, not a challenge.