International Women's Day: What Makes A Good Woman?

My focus has been drawn this week towards what makes a 'good' woman, and a 'good' mother. Social media has been ablaze with Mother's Day and International Women's Day messages about who people admire for being a good woman or a good mother, and it really piqued my interest. I try daily to be both of those things, and yet I don't actually know what they mean.

It is easier to define a good mother. If you love your children and you are doing what you can in honour and support of them, then you are a good mother. And part of being a good mother is being a good woman, in my opinion. In fact, I tweeted earlier that part of my duty as a good woman was to teach my son to be a good man. But what does that mean? 

I started with Google. My oh my, I wish I hadn't. The articles I found centred more around what it meant to be a good woman for her man. What I mean by this is that I read articles proclaiming that good women will be reserved and passive, she will follow you blindly and she will, hold your nausea here, 'King' her man. This does include the phrase "feed him grapes". I am serious. Maybe it's just that the right kind of sites have never approached the question, but I couldn't find anything about a woman being a good woman in her own right. I found a list of ideals written by men. And more than one reference to 'chasing tail'.

Studying history, I have been introduced to many 'great women'. These women have paved the way for us and changed the world. But were they good women, or just women who achieved good things? What about looking beyond their political beliefs? Were they kind? Were they happy? 

So here we go. This is what I think makes a good woman.

A good woman is who she wants to be. She isn't unapologetic, because it doesn't cross her mind that there should be anything to apologise for. She is smart; she puts in what she expects to get out of every project. She puts herself on a pedestal, but she is happy to share it with other women. She recognises the strength and love of good men and women. If she wants to be independent, she is. If she wants to take a traditional role within her family home, she does that. She gives herself the right to heal. She gives herself the right to be happy. She acknowledges the struggles of our foremothers which gave her that choice, that right, to be exactly who she is and nobody else.

She is my mother. She is my grandmother. She is my mother-in-law. She is my aunties. She is my sister. She is my daughter. She is the friend who comes to see me just because I feel sad. She is Daisy, Tanya, Lottie, Sarah, KJ, MoG, Katt, Nikki, Georgina and Kitty. She is every woman who reads this blog. And, hopefully, she is me.