Tiny Rebellions. #FreeWithFee

No matter what size, colour or shape you are, there are fashion 'rules' that you will be told to follow. I am a short, fat woman with an English rose complexion, so here are some things I should never do: 

Wear a maxi dress - it will only drown your short legs

Wear a maxi dress - the floating fabric will only make you look fatter

Dye your hair pink - your complexion is pink enough as it is, that colour will do nothing for you!

Wear anything sleeveless - nobody needs to see wobbly arms, fat rolls, bingo wings, stretch marks... 

Nobody wants to see any body that isn't perfect.

And yet here I am. My fat body is being drowned in light and flowing fabric. You can't even see my teeny tiny legs! All you can see is a shock of pink hair (which seriously needs re-doing! I know!), pale skin and cute little chubby arms. Oh, and a great big smile.

When I took my first steps on the journey of body positivity, I felt sad when I saw people wearing things that I "couldn't" wear, because my body was too this, or too that. But little by little I have added little touches to my wardrobe. Tiny rebellions which break the fashion laws. Crop tops to put over my fat belly and short torso. Vest tops so that my pale, wobbly arms are free. High collars to sit beautifully above my large bust. Being body positive is realising that you never had the "wrong body" to wear certain styles - you just hadn't found that key piece that made you feel amazing yet. The clothes were wrong, not your body.

Forget about policing your own wardrobe, and laugh in the face of anybody who dares police it for you. Be free this Summer! I want to see YOU breaking the rules (rules imposed by yourself, or by others), and absolutely rocking it - share your pics with me by using #FreeWithFee!

Lolly and Interrobang Art.

When we find a brand who are as inclusive as Interrobang Art, bloggers tend to shout pretty loudly about it. Christina offers a gorgeous range of skirts, dresses and other bits and bobs (as well as the fabric to make your own!) in adorable, quirky prints that - get this - range from sizes 6 - 34. Yes, that's right, brands. It is absolutely possible. 

I have been admiring so many dresses and skirts from IA in the last six months, and have even spotted some things I know Paige would like (Adventure Time skirts are going to be a staple this summer!), that as soon as I saw her recent announcement my bank account groaned further. I am never going to be able to afford all of the options I want! Not only are there unicorns, fast food, holograms and rainbows already included in this range, but now the gorgeous Lolly Likes range has graced her etsy page and it is right up my alley.

The range is only available for pre-order at the moment, debuting at £70.00 for a dress, £45.00 for a midi skirt and £35.00 for a knee-length skirt. Interrobang Art clothes are not cheap and nasty fast fashion and yet for the time that goes into the clothing and the quality of the fabric, I think many would be prepared to pay more. Lolly came up with some gorgeous fabrics for her range: aqua, yellow and black as backdrops to floral prints are absolutely beautiful in my mind, and when I get a dress in this fabric (when, not if!) it will have pride of place in my wardrobe. My favourite right now is the yellow because I am ridiculously excited about summer and have been spending my days dreaming of my sunshine clothes. Watch this space: there will be a Lolly Likes fashion post on this blog some time in 2016.

There were two purposes for this post, really. Of course I wanted to praise the adorable, fun range from Lolly - girl done good! But when one of the community succeeds, it benefits all of us. The plus size blogging community has only one goal: for brands to listen to us. When we're telling you that you could sell clothing in bigger sizes, listen. When we tell you that big figures deserve to be dressed in fun and fitting prints, listen. So for a brand to not only listen to us but to actually work with a blogger - that is a huge deal. Bloggers tend to celebrate brands who have inclusive sizing and who listen to us. So today, Interrobang Art deserves a huge celebration in my eyes. I hope more brands take note.

You've heard what I have to say about it - here is what some of my friends had to say about it, too. I'd love to hear what you think!

"I love Interrobang!!! She is lovely too, really listens to her customers"
- Sarah

"I think it's bloody marvelous that they're collaborating on plus size things with a plus size babe who isn't that "acceptable" flat tummy size 16 fat."

- KJ

"Being a 'made to measure' company, it's far easier for them to expand their size range as there isn't the risk of left over stock that most companies experience. Having said that, having a spokesperson like Lolly is a huge step forward, and I will certainly be supporting them as and when I can. 

They're showing the likes of River Island that there is demand, and that the 'fat pound' is worth cashing in on."

- KK

"Lots of people still assume that a majority of plus size women are size 22, hour glass shapes with toned bodies which is why plus size fashion seems to aim itself at that. The truth is that we're all varied shapes and sizes and deserve just as much as anyone else. I love this brand because they literally do something for everyone. They recognise that so many people love fashion and therefore want to be a part of it. After all fashion is supposed to be fun. The fact that interrobang successfully sell clothes in all sizes shows it is possible and that other brands who cry off from doing so really have no excuse"
- Debz

And, most importantly to this range, Lolly had a few words to say herself:

"The range is the interrobang art designs already used but with my choice of fabric. The reason I asked to work with her was because she is so inclusive. I have a couple of skirts by Christina already and love them. If anything her sizes are large as the elastic waist of the skirts. I am a 26/28 and ordered the XL but could easily have got the L. My style of prints are quite different to the ones already in the store. The prices may be a little more than some people are used to but no more than say Simply Be. Plus the items are hand made in the UK by Christina and of limited quantities and you are supporting a Small Business that Supports the Plus Size Community! The fact that all items are made to fit size 6-34+ is fantastic and what every brand should be doing! There is no real reason all brands can't do it! They just choose not to which is why I choose not to support Brands that do not support the plus community."

Beth Ditto S/S 2016

"Where are the fashionable clothes for fat girls that aren’t designer one-offs? Where are the subtle and chic wardrobe staples, where are the crazy statement pieces?"

And so the Beth Ditto collection began. Beth has been saying "fuck you, this is who I am" for a good ten years before I even thought of loving my body, so I was pretty excited to see what was coming from somebody who knew how to dress a fat body. I was not disappointed.

The Looks

I think the first thing I noticed was the diversity of styles, shapes, colours. There were figure hugging dresses, there were slouchy, loose tops, there was everything. I think what is really important about this range is that it is telling fat people they don't have to dress a certain way because of their size. They don't need to be wrapped in loose-fitting sheets (as Beth says she was on designer photoshoots!), but they similarly don't have to be loud-proud-figure-hugging to be body positive. You can be demure if that's your jam (I hate a certain brand owner for ruining that word for me. Anybody else cringing?) or you can be a beacon of light. Beth's range says it's okay to be the centre of attention when you're fat. And that is pretty important. 

Oversized shirt: $120.00, Leggings: $115.00

The Prices

Damn, this is a topic of contention. I have seen a lot of people talking about this - from tweets to Beth herself, to bloggers, to 'the woman on the street' who sees this collection as totally pie in the sky. Firstly, Beth has handled responses graciously: she has explained that this range is ethically sourced and made to last, so prices are a bit high, but she's looking at making some lower-cost contributions as soon as she can. Honestly, I think that's great. But can I just take a moment to appreciate the prices? I'm not saying I'll be buying the whole collection (in fact, even getting one piece is unrealistic for me right now) but what I'm saying is that I like that there is a designer product that fat people can buy. Designers of straight-sized clothes aren't asked to lower their costs, because it is appreciated that the clothes are designer pieces of high quality and style. Why should fat people be excluded from that? I feel like making a truly designer range is incredibly inclusive, and also it gives fat customers value. We don't just need cheap shit! We are worthy of designer luxury too! 

T-Shirt: $65.00, Leggings: $115.00

The Sizing

This is what got me most excited about the range when I found out about its collection. I had initially heard that it was a 14-28 range and I'll be honest, I rolled my eyes. "Great", I thought, "another cut-off points that makes superfats feel less worthy of good fashion". And then it hit me. These were American sizes. You guys, the range is 18 - 32!!! How amazing is that? This is a line dedicated to fitting big bodies. This isn't a straight-sized line with a few token XXLs thrown in for diversity, this is a designer telling us we are worthy of a line being dedicated solely to our bodies. This is amazing. Other designers, take note: there is no excuse not to dress big bodies. Beth Ditto has proved it.

Lola Dress: $245.00

The Models

In complete honesty, this was where I erred slightly on the side of disappointment. The models are diverse, yes. And we can't have all fat, all the time. But the only stomach that wasn't flat was Beth's herself. I have spoken to some friends about this and it definitely seems that I am in a minority of one so far in terms of my expectations of the models, but I think I was hoping for more "unapologetically body positive" models, rather than flat stomachs and wide hips. Maybe this is something that'll happen as the range progresses; I appreciate that many customers won't be body positive and may be put off by a body that isn't dressed in a classically flattering way. I think in my mind I just thought "Beth Ditto = Grunge as fuck and flashing all-sorts" and I pictured her models being the same way.

Jumpsuit: $395.00

The Ethos

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I am completely in favour of this range. Beth wanted to create something that was inclusive, made fat people feel equal and worthy of high-end fashion, and was ethically sourced and well made. She's ticked all the boxes. Sure, it's expensive, but that's what you get when your clothes aren't made in a sweatshop. I think Beth sums this up better than I could: 

“I wanted to make pieces to last years. Beyond trends, beyond chain stores. I wanted to create something all its own, something just for us, made with love and consideration. Made ethically in the USA as a small company with no corporate input. Uncompromising, unapologetic, humane, and timeless. Go-to pieces designed to last.”- Beth Ditto

Denim Jacket: $245.00

Chi Chi! Make Clothes That Fit Me!

Readers of this little old blog will know that I am totally cool with who I am. I love to wear pretty clothes, strike a pose and show fellow fatties that you can look as amazing as I do no matter what your size. I feel I have particular authority on this because I am not what the fashion world would describe as a "good fat" [also named "acceptable fat"], I am somebody who does not have an hourglass figure, a flat stomach or a pretty face. I'm stumpy, rough around the edges and proportioned like a Sophie, not like a fruit. And so when I find beautiful things to wear that will fit me properly, I'm about ready to shout it from the rooftops.

On Thursday night I had the urge to splurge. I knew there were pretty dresses out there, I just needed to find them. Something a bit sparkly, a bit special, something which made me feel like a million dollars when I swished and sashayed and paraded around in all my sequin glory. Several good friends recommended Chi Chi, and as I scrolled through the dresses my eyes grew wider and wider.

Chi Chi Curve is like the holy grail for fat women who want to look like princesses, in my opinion. The dresses are BEAUTIFUL. The hefty pricetag suggests that they're an investment in quality, but I was happy to make a compromise and buy something beautiful and magnificent for a bit more than I'd normally spend, because... Well, because I'm shallow. And clothes absolutely have the power to make me feel pampered and wonderful.

You can imagine how wonderful I felt, then, as I began to look through the tabs and tabs of beauty and magnificence that I had opened, and I realised that each and every single one of them stopped at a 24. I would not be able to squeeze myself into one single dress that Chi Chi had to offer. I mean sure, the styles of some 24s might fit me, but that is beside the point - I am by no means the largest person who wants to wear showstopping clothes, and yet anything from Sophie-sized upwards is made to feel less deserving of glamour than any of their slightly smaller counterparts.

Do brands not understand how frustrating this is? Do they not recognise that this is a real problem in society? Why are people who have more fat rolls than the societally approved number told that they no longer deserve to wiggle into something a little less comfortable but a little more fabulous? Chi Chi - why don't I deserve to see your clothes? Why did you decide that somebody like me was not worth dressing?

And just to let you know, Chi Chi, I had opened HUNDREDS of pounds worth of tabs. Think a pound for every pound I weigh. And because your sizing restricted me from buying anything on your website, I decided to give my money to a company who respected my body. That's the thing with us 'superfats'; in a world with very few choices, we tend to focus our expenditure on one brand at a time and bring a lot of custom their way. Something to think about.

If you would like to rectify your mistakes and include me and my friends in your sizing range, I urge you to get in touch and I would love to spread the word to my fellow fatties.

Until then, sorry. If I'm not good enough for you, you're not good enough for me.

All images taken from ChiChi website

The Five Stages of Body Positivity.

It has been shouted from the rooftops of every body positive blogger: body positivity does not happen in one day. You don't wake up in the morning, suddenly 'healed' of your sadness and ready to shake what your mama gave you in the face of anybody who dared bring your appearance into question. Bo-po is a 'journey' in a sense, but one that doesn't necessarily have an ending - it may not even have a definitive beginning for you. Similar to grief (though the exact opposite in how it feels), it is something that can only be really processed in a manner of steps or stages.

Stage one: Immersion

It's impossible to really believe in something without doing your background research. The way I did this was to follow the blogs of other plus size women. I began with following plus size fashion (or fatshion) bloggers and was completely in awe of not only their confidence, but just their contentment. They were very matter of fact: this is my body, here it is in this pretty dress. They didn't focus on the flaws, and that was what really got me raring to go.

Stage two: Interaction

Reaching out to the people who are inspiring you is vital, because if they speak to you indirectly through their writing then imagine how they can affect you one-on-one. Interact in other ways than social media, too: attend events or seminars, swap business cards, join groups or clubs. Interaction is the only way to progress naturally from stages one to three in my opinion, and is also a helpful sounding board for you to bounce some of your own thoughts and ideas off in a safe and healthy way.

Stage three: Participation

Get out there! Start practising what you have admired in others. Throw on a pretty dress and a swish of lippy (if that's your thing!) and tell the world how proud you are to be you. This doesn't necessarily mean you *are* body positive. This is a key stage that I have also been known to refer to as "fake it 'til you make it". Essentially, this is joining in with the immersion stage; you become one of those people who inspire others. In my opinion, this is the stage where your feelings increase ten-fold, and you really begin to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Source

Stage four: Exploration

I think it's important not just to educate yourself on that which applies to you, but to appreciate the journeys that other people are taking. If you're plus size, look beyond that and read about other peoples' experiences who are different from you, so that you can become their ally. Body positivity, contrary to the name, is not just about the body to me. It is a wholeness of mind and body; in other words, until my body and mind aligned I was not able to feel body positive. Expanding your knowledge and reaching out to others is the way to keep your mind healthy.

Stage five: Continuation

And as I said at the beginning of this post, your journey will never end. There is no day where you sit down and say "There. I have reached body positivity". At this stage it's important to remember that we all have down days. Days where you feel uncomfortable in your skin are absolutely okay and normal, and it's about letting yourself know it's okay and looking back at the previous stages for ways to refresh yourself. 

Source

I believe I'm somewhere between stages four and five at the moment, with five being a stage that goes on for as long as you want or need it to - and will continue to be there for you to always return to.

You're Going to Hear Me Roar.

Over the last couple of days I have had some amazing messages from fellow bloggers, reaching out to me and commenting on the impact I have had on their own body positive journeys. I have been called "vital to the movement", and the lovely Kathryn even said that she felt that 2016 would be "my year". Comments like this are just absolutely amazing, and exactly why I'm doing what I'm doing. Positivity is funny - I made you guys feel good, which made me feel good, which motivated me to make you all feel even better about yourselves. And that's exactly how it should be. Get stuck in the positivity cycle!

When I got dressed today, patting myself on the back for a few days of awesome feedback and happy comments, I wanted to feel like a powerhouse. I grabbed a shirt I'd bought from Yours. I remember trying the shirt on, dismayed that it didn't fit properly but hanging it up in my wardrobe regardless because I didn't want to say goodbye to that gorgeous bejewelled collar. But today I didn't care. It didn't matter that I had VBO. It wasn't important that my arms were drowned in fabric to accommodate for the shirt fitting across my stomach. I wore jeans, also from Yours, with slits in the knees - totally outside of my usual comfort zone of fun dresses. I finished my look with a skull necklace James bought for me and a topknot. I felt fierce. And then, in the car, I blared out Roar by Katy Perry and totally revelled in the fact that this is definitely going to be my year. I was fearless, fabulous and totally out of my comfort zone. And I absolutely loved it.

Here's to you stepping outside of your comfort zones. Here's to posting pictures where your arms are drowned and your eyes are closed, where your hairstyle is different from your norm, where your lipstick is faded, where you're halfway between two expressions. Here's to 2016 being your year. 

I am a champion, and you're going to hear me roar.

OOTD: Polkadot Princess

Jay and I had a trip to Bletchley Park planned today (more on that to come!), so I thought it'd be fun to throw on one of my Lindy Bop dresses and take advantage of the pretty background. 

Unfortunately we couldn't find the 'good' camera so I've had to work with phone pictures, but I felt so cute with my fringe all plaited up and my make-up done that I wanted to take the time to capture the moment. 

I bought this Lindy Bop 'Audrey' polkadot dress  in their sale a couple of months ago, at the same time as two others (which will definitely be making an appearance on the blog asap) and I originally chose black and white because I thought it'd look cute with the pink petticoat I wore at my wedding. I actually found that it has amazing shape even without the petticoat, and teamed with my velvet cardigan from Scarlett & Jo for warmth purposes I felt like a vision in monochrome - despite the battered old blue and white slip-on shoes! Jay hadn't seen it before I put it on (I tend to buy things and put them in my wardrobe so it looks like I've had them for months and he just hasn't noticed), so when he saw it he told me I looked amazing, and he loved it when I wore polkadots. I got a bunch of comments about how dressed up I looked and if I was going anywhere nice, and it felt pretty good to say "nope, I just felt like getting dressed up". Long may this continue!