The Five Stages of Body Positivity.

It has been shouted from the rooftops of every body positive blogger: body positivity does not happen in one day. You don't wake up in the morning, suddenly 'healed' of your sadness and ready to shake what your mama gave you in the face of anybody who dared bring your appearance into question. Bo-po is a 'journey' in a sense, but one that doesn't necessarily have an ending - it may not even have a definitive beginning for you. Similar to grief (though the exact opposite in how it feels), it is something that can only be really processed in a manner of steps or stages.

Stage one: Immersion

It's impossible to really believe in something without doing your background research. The way I did this was to follow the blogs of other plus size women. I began with following plus size fashion (or fatshion) bloggers and was completely in awe of not only their confidence, but just their contentment. They were very matter of fact: this is my body, here it is in this pretty dress. They didn't focus on the flaws, and that was what really got me raring to go.

Stage two: Interaction

Reaching out to the people who are inspiring you is vital, because if they speak to you indirectly through their writing then imagine how they can affect you one-on-one. Interact in other ways than social media, too: attend events or seminars, swap business cards, join groups or clubs. Interaction is the only way to progress naturally from stages one to three in my opinion, and is also a helpful sounding board for you to bounce some of your own thoughts and ideas off in a safe and healthy way.

Stage three: Participation

Get out there! Start practising what you have admired in others. Throw on a pretty dress and a swish of lippy (if that's your thing!) and tell the world how proud you are to be you. This doesn't necessarily mean you *are* body positive. This is a key stage that I have also been known to refer to as "fake it 'til you make it". Essentially, this is joining in with the immersion stage; you become one of those people who inspire others. In my opinion, this is the stage where your feelings increase ten-fold, and you really begin to believe in yourself and your abilities.

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Stage four: Exploration

I think it's important not just to educate yourself on that which applies to you, but to appreciate the journeys that other people are taking. If you're plus size, look beyond that and read about other peoples' experiences who are different from you, so that you can become their ally. Body positivity, contrary to the name, is not just about the body to me. It is a wholeness of mind and body; in other words, until my body and mind aligned I was not able to feel body positive. Expanding your knowledge and reaching out to others is the way to keep your mind healthy.

Stage five: Continuation

And as I said at the beginning of this post, your journey will never end. There is no day where you sit down and say "There. I have reached body positivity". At this stage it's important to remember that we all have down days. Days where you feel uncomfortable in your skin are absolutely okay and normal, and it's about letting yourself know it's okay and looking back at the previous stages for ways to refresh yourself. 

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I believe I'm somewhere between stages four and five at the moment, with five being a stage that goes on for as long as you want or need it to - and will continue to be there for you to always return to.

You're Going to Hear Me Roar.

Over the last couple of days I have had some amazing messages from fellow bloggers, reaching out to me and commenting on the impact I have had on their own body positive journeys. I have been called "vital to the movement", and the lovely Kathryn even said that she felt that 2016 would be "my year". Comments like this are just absolutely amazing, and exactly why I'm doing what I'm doing. Positivity is funny - I made you guys feel good, which made me feel good, which motivated me to make you all feel even better about yourselves. And that's exactly how it should be. Get stuck in the positivity cycle!

When I got dressed today, patting myself on the back for a few days of awesome feedback and happy comments, I wanted to feel like a powerhouse. I grabbed a shirt I'd bought from Yours. I remember trying the shirt on, dismayed that it didn't fit properly but hanging it up in my wardrobe regardless because I didn't want to say goodbye to that gorgeous bejewelled collar. But today I didn't care. It didn't matter that I had VBO. It wasn't important that my arms were drowned in fabric to accommodate for the shirt fitting across my stomach. I wore jeans, also from Yours, with slits in the knees - totally outside of my usual comfort zone of fun dresses. I finished my look with a skull necklace James bought for me and a topknot. I felt fierce. And then, in the car, I blared out Roar by Katy Perry and totally revelled in the fact that this is definitely going to be my year. I was fearless, fabulous and totally out of my comfort zone. And I absolutely loved it.

Here's to you stepping outside of your comfort zones. Here's to posting pictures where your arms are drowned and your eyes are closed, where your hairstyle is different from your norm, where your lipstick is faded, where you're halfway between two expressions. Here's to 2016 being your year. 

I am a champion, and you're going to hear me roar.