16 in '16.

The concept of 16 in '16 is simple; an opportunity to sit down, reflect on the past year and think about what things we did well, what things we'd like to do better in the future and, more importantly, what things we'd like to achieve in the coming twelve months.

Regular readers of BLF will remember that I'm not one for New Years Resolutions as such - I don't like the idea of setting unrealistic goals and filling life with unnecessary pressure - but I do love any opportunity to take stock and motivate myself with some realistic goals. So here they are: 16 things I'd like to achieve in 2016. I don't think they're unrealistic or unreasonable, and I definitely don't think they're too overwhelming. If nothing else, I can't believe that this time in a year I'll be ready to start my final term of University before I graduate! Say whaaaat?!

A three bedroom house
This is kind of an ongoing goal, really. We're living in a two bedroom, second floor flat at the moment. While it's great and we really appreciate having a family home (especially as we were awarded this house after a couple of months of homelessness at the end of my pregnancy), the kids are two and nine and it's really stressful to have them share a bedroom at such different stages of their lives. On top of this, we'd love to have a garden. Not only for the children, but we have three animals living in this flat who we would love to have easy access to the outdoors. In all honesty I think this is the most unattainable of my goals this year, because private rent is far out of our price range and there is a real limit on what is available in public housing in this area. We'll keep trying for swaps, but not many people want to swap a three bedroom house with a garden for a two bedroom flat three floors up.

At least one A
In my first year of University it became a bit of a running joke that I would get straight Bs for everything, and I'd really love to be able to push it just that little bit higher and get an A. Last year I was really disappointed every time I got a B because I'm such a perfectionist, and because I desperately wanted to prove I was good enough to get first class honours. I've had to realign everything in my head though; I'm a Mum, a wife and I have a job as well as University. If I have to spread myself between those things, maybe its okay not to be perfect. But at least one A would be nice.

Write the kids a book
We almost did it this year, but by the time the idea was solid in our minds we were almost out of time. Basically, we want a Christmas book for the children. I will write it, James will illustrate. We have an idea for a very specific Christmas adventure featuring members of this family, and I hope to get it written up when I have more time over the Summer.

Vlog at least twice a month
I've been enjoying putting vlogs together recently, but its not something I'm in a regular habit of doing. I figure twice a month isn't too much pressure. And hey - if I don't do it, who cares? It's meant to be fun, and I don't want to ruin it for myself.

Have draft of dissertation by the end of 2016
Here it is. The big one. I'm in quite a lucky position because I already have my idea in mind for my dissertation; I've even bought new stationery for it and done some very primitive research. I'd like for the next 365 days to be spent doing small amounts of work on it regularly, so that by the end of the year I have a complete draft and I just need to tweak over my last term. Let's be honest, it won't happen that way. But its always nice to have a goal. 

Make plans for 2017 home education
I spoke in the past about the possibility of home educating Mikey, and the more I have looked into it the more I have felt that it is the right decision for our family. I have joined some Facebook groups, made friends with some home educators and looked through various resources and now I am confident that it would be a positive lifestyle for Michael. Now it's time to start collecting my material. I also need to work on my patience. That's a worry of mine.

Manage finances
I also spoke this year about money traps that I just kept falling in to. This year I need to be more responsible with my money; plan ahead, stop with impulse buying. I have started a birthday list in Evernote where I'm planning ahead what I want to get people for their birthdays instead of picking up lots of little presents so they have loads to open. Quality over quantity in all aspects of life.

URB@N - Nail it!
This is quite an exciting development (for me - not for anybody else!) in in terms of my University career. URB@N is an undergraduate research project ran by my University and I have been selected to represent one of the projects. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say online, but I will be working with a really cool history website to create an online exhibition, as well as working with students to find out how the University can make online research more accessible to them. It's a really cool sounding project and an opportunity for me to step out of my comfort zone, throw myself into a project and hopefully get something awesome to put on my CV (as well as receive a bursary for the pleasure). I know it sounds crazy to put something else on my plate when it is already so full, but I feel like it's a waste to let an opportunity like this slip by. I won't be in University forever - if not now, then when?

Sit down as a family for dinner once a week
It's a bit crap that I even need to set this as a goal really, isn't it? Back when I was working full-time, I didn't get home until 8pm so I always ate late. We're still in the habit of making something for the kids, getting them off to bed and then making something for ourselves when we're able to relax and enjoy it together. While it's nice for us to have a kid-free (and therefore stress-free) dinner each evening, I understand it's important for the children to be able to sit and eat with us. So at least once a week we will sit together. I won't set a day. because I have quite a few late nights at University until the Summer. But I will definitely do it at least one day a week.

Learn five new recipes
I just feel like our range of dinnertime options is getting a little stagnant. James wants to buy a pressure cooker in the new year and get rid of our slow cooker - it's so heavy and cumbersome to wash, a pressure cooker is quicker to cook things and easier to clean. Along with that I want to learn some quick and easy recipes that the whole family will enjoy. Part of eating later than the children is also cooking two different meals every night. I'd rather offer lots of little things (cold meats, olives, salad, breads, cheeses, pasta salad) so that things are quick and easy to make, we don't get bored of what we're eating and I don't have to re-do everything later. That way, the kids can plate up their own food and take ownership over how much they eat. No more staring at full plates and moaning they don't want to eat it if they plated it up themselves!

Wardrobe overhaul - quality over quantity
See? Quality over quantity in all aspects of life. Instead of buying cheap bits and bobs on eBay which are ill-fitting and fall apart after a few wears, I want to gather quality pieces of clothing that I totally love and which fit like they were made for me. I am so done with the majority of plus size brands (more on that at a later date...) so I want to seek more independent plus-size retailers. Sure, it might cost a little more. But it's important to support small businesses, and you know your clothing was made with passion and not just the drive to milk you for cash.

Fashion blogging
With nice clothing comes the opportunity to blog about it! I want to get out more to take more outfit pictures. I really enjoyed my first fashion post last month and I got a really good response from readers, so I'd like for that to be something I can continue next year. Plus, what better excuse is there to buy more dresses?! Yes please.

Work on my brand
I've got a big overhaul of this blog coming up, including a totally new design and hopefully a new feature or two that I think you guys will love. Once my new design (and therefore new logo) is good to go I want to get myself a set of good quality business cards and work more on getting my name out there. 2015 has been awesome for me in terms of establishing myself on the body positive and plus size scenes, so I just want to build on that more and more wherever I can. This will also include attending more events!

Help other people more
In the last few days I have received some amazing messages from fellow bloggers about the impact my body positivity (particularly on Twitter) has made on their lives. That feeling is just immeasurable. I'd like to team up with more ladies this year, offering more positivity and hopefully helping more people see the brighter side of life. That's what it's all about really, isn't it?

Topcashback
I've set myself a little goal to use Topcashback for every online purchase possible in 2016 and see how much money I can make. I have set the release date for all cashback I earn as 1st December 2016 so it will be a little bit extra in my account over Christmas time. I've been using it a month and have made £30 so it'd be nice if I had £100 or so by Christmas 2016. If you'd like to get in on the action and earn cashback on your online purchases, you can sign up here! (Not sponsored, but I do get cashback for referring somebody - and you will too!)

See more of our family/friends
This is just standard really, isn't it? The majority of my friends live in 'internet land', so I'd like to be able to meet up with more of them on a more regular basis. I've already got a pancake breakfast date set up for next month, which is awesome! Our family members are dotted all over the country too, so it'd be good if we got to make a trip or two to see some of them this year. My family 700 miles away are maybe a bit far, but my in-laws live in Dorset so a trip to the seaside definitely needs to be on the cards this summer.

I'd love to hear your 16 in '16 if you have one - and either way, I hope you have a happy new year and a wonderful 2016.

What my friends would like to achieve in 2016
Obviously our goals won't always be in sync with eachothers (although sometimes they are!) - good luck to each and every one of these gals. Whether their idea of a perfect 2016 matches mine or not, I hope they fulfil all of their wishes for this year.

Charli, Kerry-Ann, Tanya, Katt, Kitty, Becky, Vicky, Cathy, Becky, Lucy, Nikki, KJ, Charlene, Murder of Goths, Daisy

Six Money Traps I Keep Falling In To

I considered writing a Christmas budget post, but I think there are so many of those already that I decided to take things in another direction.

Money is definitely tied to mental health for me. No money = STRESS for everybody so that isn't a shocker, but with me, lots of money = buy ALL THE THINGS! with no regard for the total that might be left in the bank balance. I used to be really on track with my spending, monitoring every penny, spreadsheets all over the place. I even walked around Tesco with a calculator! Now, though, my finances aren't as tight so I allow myself to be a bit more free, probably as a reward for how difficult it was when I WAS forced to monitor it all so accurately. Unfortunately, this has got me into trouble in the past, and there is nothing worse than falling into these traps at Christmas.

1. PayPal delayed payments. Now, this feature is my BFF and my very worst enemy. The premise is that you can buy something now, PayPal will pay for it and they will take the money 14 days later so that you can receive your product and check you are happy with it before you part ways with your cash. It's a great idea on the face of it, and when it's a few days before pay-day and I'm gagging for a Dominos, I definitely abuse it a tad too. However, I often fall into the trap of not realising the 'pay after delivery' option has been selected. A week later, I think the payment has been taken and I go and spend money I think is mine, but it really isn't. And then PayPal lets me know they're debiting my account and I start freaking out and selling my stuff straight away to make up for it.

2. Shoddy deals at supermarkets. James actually takes photos of a lot of these because we come across them so often, but basically not every deal you see in a supermarket is a good deal. For example, you can buy one pack of sausages for £1.50 or two packs for £3.00. You see the yellow sticker and grab that second pack because it MUST be a good deal if Tesco says it is. But, um, you just got tricked into buying 100% extra of the exact same product, with a 0% saving. What's worse is when it is £1.40 per pack or two for £3. You've actually just paid 20p extra for a second pack of sausages (or whatever) you didn't even go to the shops to buy.

3. Earning cashback. I've set myself a little target of not withdrawing a penny from my topcashback account until December 2016, so I will have a nice little sum to withdraw right in time for Christmas. I think it's brilliant that you can buy the things you were going to buy anyway, and make a bit of the money back for yourself. What isn't brilliant, though, is buying a little bit extra so that your cashback balance is boosted a little bit. For example, I don't need any new skincare right now, but if I get an email telling me that Clarins are doing 50% cashback for the next two days, I definitely want half of the cost of a tube of moisturiser in my cashback fund for Christmas next year. So I buy something I didn't want or need, because it is presented to me in a way that tells me I am physically earning money by spending. It's so silly, right?!

4. Not doing a weekly shop. In fact, I try to make it a fortnightly shop at least and then just buy the staples to top up. It is so easy when your life is busy to go into Tesco each night on the way home and grab something to cook. Or pop in to Tesco to buy something new for lunch because you're feeling disillusioned by the contents of your cupboards. I always tell myself I need to do 'the big shop' and plan our meals better so we make the most of our food (and don't bin it! I want a chest freezer because I need frozen EVERYTHING so it doesn't go off before I get to it!) but I guess I just come up with excuses not to - it's easier, it's quicker, you don't have to carry a tonne of bags up to the second floor when it's bit by bit... But they're just that: excuses. And really I'm doing myself out of money.

5. Not returning clothes which I don't like, or which don't fit me. If I buy something and it's too small I put it to one side and think "I'll return that". And then a packaging slip gets lost. Or I think about how long it'll take to get a refund. And then I worry that the item will get lost in the post. And then the deadline to return it has been and gone. So I hang the too-small clothing in my wardrobe and sell it a few months later for about a tenth of what I paid for it. I sometimes wonder if shops make it intentionally difficult to return things so that they can keep your money, but other people seem to manage it so maybe it's only difficult to me.

6. Not shopping for celebrations with a list. I spread the cost of birthdays and Christmases by buying throughout the year, which is really great because it means I never have a big birthday cost (especially as both kids are in April) or a big Christmas cost all at once. But what it does mean is that I buy lots and lots of little things. Great from the kids' point of view because they have a ridiculous amount of [small] presents to open, but actually there hasn't been a birthday or Christmas since Michael was born that we didn't find presents we'd forgotten about stashed somewhere AFTER the big day. In 2016 I need to plan exactly what I want to buy and find the best deals, rather than picking up everything I see on offer each time I visit a shop/go on eBay.

Are you rubbish with money too? If not - help a sister out with some tips!

Christmas Eve Traditions

In a way, Christmas Eve is just as special to me as Christmas Day. The house is buzzing with anticipation and excitement, and we have just as many routines and traditions. I thought it'd be fun to share a little run-down of how we spend Christmas Eve every year, incase you need some help preparing for the (second) biggest day of advent. Of course, Christmas Eve hasn't been yet, so I've used pictures from the Christmas period 2014. No, Mikey does not still have that dummy!

We try and get as much done as possible on Christmas Eve, so that Christmas Day can just be for opening, eating and swageing. I usually begin preparing Christmas food on about the 22nd or 23rd (wrapping the kilties [pigs in blankets], etc), but I will start cooking on the 24th. We also use the time for the kids to speak to family over Skype if they're not free on Christmas Day.

We get the house sorted. Bedrooms need to be tidy, because there needs to space for lots of exciting presents! And Santa doesn't want to be tripping over a room full of junk; he won't leave presents with children who can't look after them. All of our decorations are perfect, lit, and the house is in full festive mode by the time we go to bed (which is often after midnight on Christmas Eve - there is so much to be done!). We don't hang stockings by the fireplace, partly because we don't have a fireplace, but also because that's not how it was done when I was a child (despite having a fireplace then). Instead, the kids have pillowcase-sized sacks with their names on, and those are hung up on the ends of their beds.

After dinner, the kids open their Christmas Eve pack. This is a tradition I remember fondly with my brothers, so it was definitely something I wanted to do for my own family. The Christmas Eve pack includes a nice new set of pyjamas, a film or a game (something to do together), often a snack and then some reindeer food and a carrot for Santa's reindeer. The kids get into their soft, warm new jammies and get ready to snuggle up and watch something Christmassy.

Finally, right before bed, we set up a small table in preparation for the big man's arrival. We leave him a mince pie, a nip of whisky and a carrot for the reindeer. We also sprinkle the reindeer food on the balcony step so they know where to land. We take Santa's key off our tree and hang it on the outside of the door so he can get in, since we haven't got a chimney. Obviously he has a LOT of families leaving him food so he tends to just take one bite of the mince pie, but he always finishes his nip of whisky; he probably needs it to warm up after his long trip. Sometimes the children leave him a note, and when they have they've been lucky enough to receive a little reply which has been amazing for them on Christmas morning.

Do you have Christmas Eve traditions? We'd love to hear them!

Six Things That Changed When I Left Scotland

I grew up on a small island off the North coast of Scotland, moving to the South of England back in 2010. Let me tell you, my embarrassing trans-coastal accent aside, (is trans-coastal a thing?) you don't realise how much you love Scotland until you've left. And in the spirit of St. Andrew's day, here are six things that changed when I moved to England.

1. Breakfast. Only in Scotland do you specify that the sausage you want on your plate is to be a link sausage, because square (Lorne) sausage is the norm. I remember walking into a Greggs and asking for a roll and link sausage. They looked at me like I was mad. Worse still was when I worked at a Greggs in England, the customer asked for a roll and sausage and I replied "Link or Lorne?". And have you ever tried asking an English person for a tattie scone?Breakfast just isn't the same down here.

2. The weather. I'm not saying I miss Scottish weather, because you were twice as likely to have plans ruined by a rainy day in July up in Scotland, but I feel like if the rain isn't horizontally whipping you across the cheeks as you walk, it isn't real coat weather. And what's with the lack of snow down here? Facebook is a sad place every November; all of my relatives are frolicking and making snowmen, and here I am stepping in puddles. Rubbish. 

3. The insults. They're just not as good here in England. Scotland, the land where 'cunt' is thrown in casually into conversation, has perfected the art of the insult. So much so, that I have noticed a southern English tendency to emulate the Scottish method of speech when particularly angry - what would normally said 'baarstard' becomes 'BASS-tard' in a fit of rage. And, honestly, shouting "BYE NOO!" sarcastically after a disgruntled customer just doesn't have the same effect in England, where 'noo' isn't even a word but a vaccuum cleaner in the Teletubbies.

4. The terms of endearment. Why can't I call everyone 'hen'? Why does everybody need to be 'mate'? And to link back in to the last point, nothing disproves a lady talking shit better than "NAW HEN". It just doesn't have the same effect south of the border.

5. The drinks. Now, I'm not a heavy drinker whatsoever - to the detriment of my motherland's stereotype. But I did enjoy a tipple or two in my teenage years. Southern Comfort was my drink of choice, and it has come to light that my comfort-to-coke ratio has always been a little off. In fact, when Jay asks me for a drink, he now specifies whether he wants me to pour him Scotland or England measures. If you want to make a drink Scottish, just pour your nip of spirit as you normally would, and then pour it two inches higher. What's the point in a spirit if it doesn't fill the bottom third of your glass?

6. My accent. And I don't just mean the fact that my accent has actually changed in itself, I mean the attitudes towards my accent. When I grew up in the north of Scotland, I was mocked for the way I said certain words 'English'. Then I moved to Glasgow, where I was told I sounded like I was from Yorkshire. Then I moved down here, where my accent stood out and nobody could understand me. Five years on, my accent has mellowed following years of working with the public and being frustrated at not being understood. I now get constant comments from Scottish people about how "omg sooo English" I sound. I get constant comments from English people about how Scottish I sound. And instead of cringing at the occasional word, I now cringe at every word I speak. Because, um, who the hell sounds like this?! I feel like I'm putting on a fake accent!

So there you have it. I hated growing up in the middle of nowhere and I love my life here, but part of me thinks I would love to return to the motherland one day. For now, I have retired my tartan, binned my haggis and am living live as a filthy Sassenach. But on this St. Andrews Day I am tipping my bowler hat to my roots and acknowledging all the ways my life changed when I crossed the border. And now I'm older, I quite like that my accent may be English, but part of me will always be Scottish.

And no I'm not going to translate Auld Lang Syne for you. Why do people always ask me that?

The 'One Day' Dress

A month or so ago a 'motivational' photograph was posted on Facebook. "Every woman has a pair of 'they will fit me one day' jeans". I smirked; it wasn't so long ago that maybe I'd have been consumed by that kind of mindset. Obsessing over the notion that "things will get better IF I lose weight", that seems to over-arch the common experience of adulthood. How sad, I thought, to delay happiness because of the size of your clothing, and how well your body fills material based on the number on the label.

And then it hit me. I've still got my 'one day' dress. 

It was 2012 and I was in a charity shop in Kingston, Milton Keynes. Jay found a suit jacket in his size and was really pleased; it was almost brand new and super cheap. I spotted a gorgeous cream dress with a floral pattern on it, and an adorable heart-shaped cut-out over the cleavage area. My eyes were drawn instantly and I needed to have it. Unfortunately, when I grabbed the tag, I saw 'size 18' slapping me across the face. "No matter", thought 21-year-old Sophie. "I'll fit into it one day".

A screenshot from my instagram in 2012. Seeing my own words, and my own insecurities thrown out there for all to see in an attempt at justifying my own body, makes me so sad. Why shouldn't I have "rewarded" myself for the beautiful body I was in, instead of punishing it? My body is capable of brilliant things: in fact, at that very moment there were cells dividing without my knowledge, beginning the wonderful adventure that I now call Moo.

Because that's what I did. I dieted, I got depressed, I binged, I put on weight, I got depressed, and then the cycle began again. But each time was the last time. Every time, I started with a heart full of hope because all of my problems would go away if there was less weight on my body. How could I be sad when I was confident? Who could help but respect me if my stomach was flat? What would I have to worry about if I was fit and healthy? I could go shopping with friends and family without spiralling into depression because all of my attention was focussed on how nothing would fit me. In my mind, if my stomach didn't hang, I could conquer the world.

Anxiety doesn't work like that, and neither does depression. People don't work like that - they don't automatically decide somebody must be a bad person because they weigh more than them - and if they do, they're not people I want to know. I am happier and more confident than I've ever been; I have modelled for a plus size brand (and would be happy to do so again), I take more pride in my appearance than ever [unless I'm at  University. University would be lucky if I washed, let alone brushed my hair or even put some make-up on], I'm super happy to take outfit photos and promote my fat body in all its glory, and I have a solid group of friends who promote body positivity at any size. And so, just like that, I decided to get rid of the 'one day' dress.

I didn't make a fortune; it sold on eBay for about £1.50 plus postage. But it wasn't about the money I could gain, it was about my mental health. This was the last step in accepting that I am who I am and every body, at every size, deserves love and respect. And actually I would encourage anybody who is punishing themselves for being who they are to challenge their mindsets. If not now, then when? 

Navigating University With A Mental Illness.

I have often felt overwhelmed and just quit situations when they got too difficult in the interest of self-preservation, and part of me honestly figured that University would be the same. But I've worked really hard and I've changed a few things in order to make sure that I stay on top of everything and I keep my head and my heart in my studies. Here are some things you can do to make life in University easier when you have a mental illness.

1. Keep an open dialogue with your doctor and/or counsellor. He or she will be able to adjust medication accordingly, identify the things that make you struggle and recognise the difference between ordinary 'not coping' and 'not coping' because of your mental illness.

2. Work two weeks ahead. You don't necessarily have to do this, and actually I've had three assignments in quick succession this month so haven't been able to keep up to date with this, but I've found reading without a time pressure meant I was able to take a breath, read it slowly and even re-read it if I found something I was struggling with.

3. Maintain your system of organisation. In first year, my system was one notebook, rip the pages out and file them in the relevant folders once a week. Did I do that? Well, I still have most of my notes from the second half of the year laying around the house. This year I have one book per module and my weekly reading notes go in the back half of the book. That way, I only need to remember one item per module and everything is on hand.

4. Read fiction, too. Or other kinds of factual books, if that's your thing. Heck, even blogs! Things were not clicking last year and I was having a huge crisis of confidence, until I started reading some really easy-going fiction and I realised I was just overloading myself and my brain needed a break. 

5. Let your personal tutor know what is going on. I haven't gone into ins and outs with mine, but he knows I am on medication, he knows I signed up to University counselling (I didn't actually use it, only because local counselling became available) and he knows I stressed myself out so much that I ended up in A&E last December. Your personal tutor's job is to guide you through your studies, making sure you achieve the best grades that you can, so of course he or she is going to offer you tips for organising your time and lightening your own load. They are there to help, not to judge.

6. Utilise the resources your University has available for you. If your University offers mental health support, it'd be a shame not to take it. If you are struggling and need an extension on an assignment, don't put it off - things are easier if you speak up sooner rather than later. Join societies and study groups if you feel like you work better in a group, use the silent study areas if you want to work on your own. 

7. Lean on your friends and family. I have ranted away to family and friends at times, and I have been distracted at other times and it has just made approaching my work seem all the easier. If they understand your mental state, they will want to help you.

8. Pat yourself on the back for every achievement. Did you hand in an assignment that you found difficult? AWESOME! Did you achieve a 'pass' grade? Even better! At the start of first year it was the end of the world if I got a B, and now I just feel amazing when I hand something in or even speak up in a seminar. It's about singling out achievements and celebrating them instead of seeing them in the bigger picture and devaluing them.

9 Reasons I Love Vanessa Jenkins

For anybody who is not familiar with the wonder that is Vanessa Shannessa Jenkins, allow me to introduce her: she is the foulmouthed, sexually deviant best friend of Stacey from Gavin and Stacey, whose age remains a mystery and has anecdotal evidence for most of the world's leading figures of the 20th century (and 1/5 of noughties flop, Hear'Say).

I get it, guys. Anybody who has seen Gavin and Stacey will be raising an eyebrow and saying "really?" - why would anybody want to be emulate a chain-smoking con artist from a small town along the coast of Wales? Well allow me to let you in on my train of thought! 

1. She is a dedicated mother. Okay, so she smokes around "Neil the baby" without a second thought, and speaks through the baby monitor by starting "Oh, Neil, it's me. Vanessa." but the point is that she's always there. She's a clear advocate of babywearing, she co-sleeps (albeit using the baby monitor so she doesn't need to roll over to comfort Neil the baby) and she has made a clear effort to involve Neil the baby's father in his life, despite her general disgust towards said father.

2. She is a beacon of body positivity. Nessa wears whatever the hell she wants, raising a middle finger to the two F words - "fashion" and "flattering". As it happens, she rocks everything she wears, and in the case of her wedding dress she shows that she can flaunt what her mama gave her in whatever colour and style SHE likes.

3. She has a strong sexual identity. I don't think even Nessa knows how many people she has slept with, but I also don't think she cares. She's completely comfortable with her sexuality, challenging taboos such as female masturbation and why men can sleep around but women can't.

4. She is a good friend. Nessa is an honest and upfront friend who will tell you when you're acting out of order. She's comfortable around her best friend's family and will defend your honour in a heart beat.

5. She always honours her debts. In fact, she has been repaying Doris a pound a week since the 90s, and was sure to give Gwen the fiver she owed her back asap. And she was even honest enough to be upfront about the fact that it was a repayment, not a kind gesture.

6. She is up to date on current events. She has travelled the world, working from the ground up, dipping her toes into politics and is well read in different religions and ideologies. Fair enough, she doesn't always end her interest in politicians at the bedroom door, but at least she KNOWS stuff, right?!

7. Her honour system is flawless. You get what you pay for. So if you pay half for a visit to sit on Santa's lap, you get half the experience. If you pay for one full curry, you eat one full curry. While some might argue she is tight-fisted and squeezes money out of everybody she can, I would call her thrifty and sensible. Times are tough and she's a single mother who went between kipping in her best mate's mum's spare room, and living in a caravan next to the Welsh nationalists.

8. She won't turn down any work. Through the series we witness her being a fortune teller, Santa Claus, a street performer and an arcade attendant among references to previous roles in media and politics, and I totally identify with someone who wants to earn their living in any way they can. A job's a job, and she'll do it all if it means Neil the baby is fed and warm.

9. Nessa is one strong lady. It doesn't cross her mind that women should stereotypically be delicate and dainty, because that's just not who she is. I don't think Nessa would call herself a feminist, because I'm not entirely sure she even knows there are gender inequalities in the world. She just lives her life, breaking legs when she needs to. You've got to appreciate that level of self-sufficiency.

I get it: to some, Nessa is just brash. She's too much. But to me she represents a kick-arse, confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. I wish I was a little bit more like Nessa sometimes.