For anybody who is not familiar with the wonder that is Vanessa Shannessa Jenkins, allow me to introduce her: she is the foulmouthed, sexually deviant best friend of Stacey from Gavin and Stacey, whose age remains a mystery and has anecdotal evidence for most of the world's leading figures of the 20th century (and 1/5 of noughties flop, Hear'Say).
I get it, guys. Anybody who has seen Gavin and Stacey will be raising an eyebrow and saying "really?" - why would anybody want to be emulate a chain-smoking con artist from a small town along the coast of Wales? Well allow me to let you in on my train of thought!
1. She is a dedicated mother. Okay, so she smokes around "Neil the baby" without a second thought, and speaks through the baby monitor by starting "Oh, Neil, it's me. Vanessa." but the point is that she's always there. She's a clear advocate of babywearing, she co-sleeps (albeit using the baby monitor so she doesn't need to roll over to comfort Neil the baby) and she has made a clear effort to involve Neil the baby's father in his life, despite her general disgust towards said father.
2. She is a beacon of body positivity. Nessa wears whatever the hell she wants, raising a middle finger to the two F words - "fashion" and "flattering". As it happens, she rocks everything she wears, and in the case of her wedding dress she shows that she can flaunt what her mama gave her in whatever colour and style SHE likes.
3. She has a strong sexual identity. I don't think even Nessa knows how many people she has slept with, but I also don't think she cares. She's completely comfortable with her sexuality, challenging taboos such as female masturbation and why men can sleep around but women can't.
4. She is a good friend. Nessa is an honest and upfront friend who will tell you when you're acting out of order. She's comfortable around her best friend's family and will defend your honour in a heart beat.
5. She always honours her debts. In fact, she has been repaying Doris a pound a week since the 90s, and was sure to give Gwen the fiver she owed her back asap. And she was even honest enough to be upfront about the fact that it was a repayment, not a kind gesture.
6. She is up to date on current events. She has travelled the world, working from the ground up, dipping her toes into politics and is well read in different religions and ideologies. Fair enough, she doesn't always end her interest in politicians at the bedroom door, but at least she KNOWS stuff, right?!
7. Her honour system is flawless. You get what you pay for. So if you pay half for a visit to sit on Santa's lap, you get half the experience. If you pay for one full curry, you eat one full curry. While some might argue she is tight-fisted and squeezes money out of everybody she can, I would call her thrifty and sensible. Times are tough and she's a single mother who went between kipping in her best mate's mum's spare room, and living in a caravan next to the Welsh nationalists.
8. She won't turn down any work. Through the series we witness her being a fortune teller, Santa Claus, a street performer and an arcade attendant among references to previous roles in media and politics, and I totally identify with someone who wants to earn their living in any way they can. A job's a job, and she'll do it all if it means Neil the baby is fed and warm.
9. Nessa is one strong lady. It doesn't cross her mind that women should stereotypically be delicate and dainty, because that's just not who she is. I don't think Nessa would call herself a feminist, because I'm not entirely sure she even knows there are gender inequalities in the world. She just lives her life, breaking legs when she needs to. You've got to appreciate that level of self-sufficiency.
I get it: to some, Nessa is just brash. She's too much. But to me she represents a kick-arse, confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. I wish I was a little bit more like Nessa sometimes.
