Wedding Wednesday: Our Perfect Venue.

I've never done a Wedding Wednesday post before, and it's not because I don't want to but simply because I've just had so much on my mind with University and parenting that the blog has had to take a total back seat. Ironic, really, considering how I'm meant to be blogging about how stressful it all is.

Anyway, I'm here now, and I am so ready to talk about our venue. First, a back story.

Long before we got engaged we talked about how formal weddings were just completely not right for us. The long white gown would make me feel like a fraud, we felt like wedding venues and caterers were just such a waste of money and honestly we'd be too stressed to even enjoy our special day if it was meant to be 'perfect'. We talked about just wanting to get our favourite people together, lighting a BBQ, having some games out so the kids could blow off steam, and ending the night with our nearest and dearest huddled around a fire pit. We thought if we could find somewhere that was basically a holiday house with a nice garden we'd just invite people round for a garden party and we'd have a little break with our kids at the same time. No need to get portaloos. No need for caterers. No need for a generator for our electricals. Perfect idea, right?

So pretty much the day we got engaged I was straight on TripAdvisor, local cottage rental websites, any holiday website I could find. I

was met with brick walls all along the way. I found *the one*, a quaint rose garden with a converted barn as accommodation after about a month of looking and got to the stage of paying a deposit, 

but JUST as I was about to send it off I clarified that there would be a nearby power source so that I could play music and the woman sent me back a really shitty email about how she hadn't realised we would want music (at a wedding, hello) and that she had no intention of getting the appropriate license (at our expense) in order to have permission to play music because 'our garden is just that. A garden.' and I could take it or leave it. I left it. Very very reluctantly, I left it.

I've always believed in fate. I've always needed to believe that everything happens for a reason. And the reason that woman flipped and got shitty was so that I had time to find our perfect venue. I broadened our search to the other side of Northamptonshire (we live in Buckinghamshire) and I ended up finding a working farm about 45 minutes away which has two cottages and a coach house. We booked one cottage, my Mum booked the second and a load of my family clubbed together to get the four bedroom house together, meaning that we had all of the space on the farm without worrying about any other guests. We are so lucky that my family booked those properties - we had intended to have the reception in the garden at our cottage at first so would have been fine either way, but now we have access to an even bigger space and it is absolutely beautiful. 

Described by the owners as 'what was originally a bit of a secret garden', the area we are using was left overgrown and abandoned until the owners bought the property, dug it all up and found this amazing space underneath. There is a huge vegetable patch (patch is an understatement!) with criss-crossing paths, quaint trees, benches (we're putting picnic benches out too), two lawns and several arches. We are getting married under a tree at the head of the vegetable patch as our guests sit at their picnic benches and watch - our wedding is so casual that we've told people to just wear whatever they want. We just want a happy day for everybody. It's a great excuse to get all of our favourite people together. The small lawn will have games and toys for the children. A friend of ours has a sound system and the tack house with the arched windows in the background of the lawn space has been fitted with electricity so all we need is an extension cord. It's like the place was made for us because everything has just fallen into place perfectly. We were told yesterday that it will be harvest season and as it is a working farm there may be tractors coming in and out of the property, would that be okay? Uh, yes! For some reason that sweetened the deal for both of us, probably because once again the 'pristine' nature of a wedding is forgotten and our wedding is nitty gritty, not polished but a hell of a lot of fun.

A bit like us really.

To Jelly, On Your Birthday.

Jelly,

You were my first. You were the one to teach me that the love between a parent and a child is unconditional. You taught me to be a Mum in my heart before I became one naturally, and I'll always owe mine and your brother's relationship to you. We have our challenges like every mother and daughter do, but at the beginning and end of each day you kiss me and tell me you love me and that is what matters.

As our relationship has progressed you have stopped referring to me as your Step-Mum and gleamed with pride when people describe me as your Mum. You'd fight my battles if I'd let you; your empathy knows no bounds and you'd do anything to ensure other people are happy before yourself. As you grow you are learning sarcasm and wit, and you are cutting and brilliant with it. You're reaching an age where you are curious, we can have candid talks, and you're not old enough yet to resent time with your family which I consider a blessing as the clock ticks you over into your final single digit. I love your humour and your vigour. The world amazes and excites you and I hope you never lose that spark. Don't become jaded by time and heartbreak because, my dear little Jellybean, it is unavoidable but if you have been raised right you are equipped to deal with anything.

Jelly, today you are 9. You love: Monster High, Adventure Time, being outside, riding bikes, doing your make-up, playing on your phone, your best friend T, playparks, getting muddy, your family. You hate: spiders, arguments, stew, rainy days, having your hair brushed.

Before you turn 10: you will be my bridesmaid! I will legally become one of your parents, although we both know I've been one for a long time. While you were 9 you gained confidence at maths and moved up two groups this year so academically, you've already done more than enough! I want you to enjoy reading like I did at your age - because sometimes imaginary worlds are the best places to stay safe. We will be outside every day of the summer, getting our knees muddy, eating picnics and exploring to your heart's content.

Happy birthday, Twinkle

Your Dad, your brother and I love you with all our hearts xxx

To Moo, On Your Birthday.

Good morning Little Moo, and Happy Birthday!

Today you are two, and there could not be a Mum who is prouder than I am. You were born at 9.15pm on the 5th of April 2013 in Bedford Hospital and I didn't see you until the middle of the night some time, when they popped down to let me have a look at you before ANTS arrived to take you off to Addenbrookes. I don't remember your face (Mummy was on a lot of drugs...) and I'm sure you didn't see mine, but you held my finger and I fell deeply in love.

The next morning, they told me you'd arrived safely and that I would be transferred to Addenbrookes once I had recovered enough from my c-section to go to the toilet (sorry for TMI. You're so embarrassing, Mum!) and to walk around. So that was that. I spent the day gearing up for it, then some time in the afternoon I decided I needed to see you as soon as I could and up I got. I don't remember a lot about that day, either, but I do remember walking in to a room of baby incubators, I will always remember the dull beeps of the machines, and somebody in blue scrubs pointing to the top left corner of the room. I didn't need to be told which one you were. The moment I saw you I recognised your face as if it was one I had seen every day of my life. I wasn't allowed to touch you because it stimulated your brain too much and made your EEG go funny, but I couldn't take my eyes off you. I was finally allowed to hold you when you were four days old, so the 9th of April will always be a secret, special little celebration for you and I, one that you'll never appreciate the way that I do, but one that I will always hold dear.

Of course, now I get to hold you every single day. You are a confident young boy, full of excitement. Sometimes you need a little nudge, but once you get started there is no stopping you. I have never known anybody to smile the way that you do. You are full of empathy. If you see me cry, you say 'Mummy sad' and cuddle and kiss me, asking 'Mummy happy now?' until I really am. You say sorry without being asked (usually...), you are using full sentences to talk to me about what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You are fussy with your food which drives me insane but is probably just karma from the years of trouble I gave my own Mum. You are fantastic at making friends and having everybody feel included. You ask me to hold your hand when you're feeling insecure. Sometimes you grab your blanket so you can climb onto my lap and just have me hold you for a while, and I will miss those moments sorely when you're too old and don't want them anymore. I'm excited about what the next year has in store for you. The only way is up, my special boy. Your sister loves you, your Mummy and Dad (and grandparents!) are so proud of you and everybody who meets you sees straight away that you are unique; different; somebody to keep an eye on because, some day, you are going to grow up into a wonderful adult to know.

Mooster, today you turn two. You love: Buzzbee, Frozen, The Simpsons (you call them Simbits), Thomas, owls (you say 'ta-whit-ta-whoooo!), snakes, dinosaurs (you call them dondas), your friends, your family, dragons ('ROOOOOAR!'), counting to ten, Room on the Broom and most of all The Gruffalo (lu-ha-lo). You hate: saying goodbye/being dropped off, tidying up, going to bed without pudding (holy tantrum), when your sister isn't home, wind/rain. ('hood mummy! QUICK! EMERGENCY!'), having your nappy changed.
Before you turn three: You will be in a bunk bed with your sister, which you're going to love. Hopefully you'll be potty-trained, or at least on your way. We'll have your colours nailed, be practising our alphabet and hopefully move from counting to 10 to counting to 20. And I can't wait to hear what words you'll come out with next - you're a snowball of expressions right now.

Happy Birthday, darling Moo.

We all love you more than you will ever know. xxx

Home Education.

Jay and I read an article a couple of years ago, right when we were in the depths of Jelly's school anxiety, about the Danish education system. I'm sure you're all well aware (as it featured heavily in the media at the time), but if not, here's an overview: in Denmark, children do not begin mainstream education until the age of 7, before then focussing on learning through play. The academic results of Danish 11 year-olds are consistently higher than that of British 11 year-olds, and the children are generally more well-adjusted and emotionally mature. In short - to me, it seems like those precious few years of structure are, well, pointless really. We wished in that moment that we'd had the information before sending Jelly in to mainstream education. Would her anxiety issues have remained the same? Would she feel 'scarred' by school like she did in that moment? Would learning have been a different experience for her, a whole new childhood, if we had stopped her entering school until the age of seven?

Enter Moo. We didn't have Moo when we read that article, and we didn't know we'd ever have him. But now his second birthday is looming and the thought of registering him with nurseries (I should have done it by now) and schools is popping into my head. I just don't feel comfortable. Jay and I will graduate university when Moo is four years old, which means that we could potentially be in the ideal situation by the time he is five for me to spend that time with him and educate him at home. It will probably be for two years (Jelly's school is a junior school, which begins at year 3, and I love it's nurturing and encouraging atmosphere - I'd be really happy for him to go there when he turns 7) but who knows? Maybe it will be for us. Maybe we'll "homeschool all the way". Maybe we won't. Maybe he'll end up going to school from foundation year and love every day of it. These are all ideas.

There are the pros. The cons: I am not patient, so how will I cope? I need to learn to drive so we have freedom and don't go stir crazy, and so that I can take him to places and groups where he can socialise. Will Jelly see it as unfair that she had to go through that traumatic school experience and he gets to stay at home with his Mum, the one thing she always asked for and was always told was impossible? Is it unfair? Am I equipped? Will Moo and I spend too much time together and find it difficult to get along? 

Like I said, these are all ideas. I'd love some recommendations of blogs and books which talk about homeschooling. I've already joined my local home education Facebook group and they all seem lovely and welcoming, so I already have a good feeling about this. I'm more than on board, Jay is on board, now I just need to get the background info and check I'm really doing what's best for my son.

My first vlog!

The idea of vlogging always made me a bit nervous, but I thought I'd give it a bash with my trusty helper. It'd be amazing if you could have a peek and maybe even comment to tell her how well she did, she's "soooo embarrassed!" 

Helluva Manbasket.

I'm going to change the title of this tomorrow after he's actually received his present, but for today, while he is on strict instructions to stay off the blog, this is 'Valentine's Gift'. I'll probably go for something cheesy tomorrow like 'Helluva Manbasket'. (Does anybody get that reference?) edit: Gave it to him! He loved it!

Because that's what I've done for Jay this year, and I'm super excited for him to see it all tomorrow morning. I find it really easy to get him presents generally because through the year I look up everything he says he likes the look of, then add it to my bookmarks. Come birthday or Christmas time, I've got a whole list of ideas to choose from. But Valentine's Day has never been something we've done "proper" presents for. I just wanted this day to be for making him feel special, and what makes someone feel more special and pampered than a personalised gift basket?!

I found the basket on eBay and chose a design that wasn't delicate or floral, so I could be sure it would appeal to his manly side (but I must admit I picked one that I could see a place for in our home!). Inside the basket is a Liz Earle giftset for men, a giant Valentine's Day card, a 'build your own Android app' magazine book, some miniature Whisky bottles and I bought him a year-long subscription to CODE Magazine but the latest issue isn't out yet, so I substituted a little home-made 'coupon'.

Jay studies computer games development at University so, as well as the 'pamper' products (Liz Earle) and 'treats' (whisky!) I got him some things he'd find practical. Hopefully he'll find a real use for the things I got him in the future, and if they're not practical then hopefully he'll at least be interested. I padded out the basket with the tissue paper from inside the Liz Earle package, otherwise I'd have just got some plain tissue paper from a supermarket. I also lined the bottom of the basket with the Liz Earle washcloth.

Happy Valentine's Day, Future Husband! I love you!

Nail Moodboard: Valentine's Day

February is the month of love! 

I love having fun nails, and I try to co-ordinate them to seasons and holidays - anybody else missing looking down and seeing Christmas trees and puddings?! As V-Day approaches (and I know many of you aren't fans, so I won't bang on!) I thought I'd do a basic selection of some of my favourite colours for this time of year. No patterns, nothing fancy - though if anybody is interested I can share some proper Valentine's art, let me know! 

L-R 1-7

1. Oriflame Pure Colour Floral Nail Polish. Two coats.

2. 'Naughty' from an old gift set. Two coats.

3. Red from a Primark make-up set. Two coats.

4. No.7 - Coral Kiss 39. Two coats.

5. Pink from the same Primark make-up set. Two coats.

6. Barry M Gelly - Blood Orange. One coat.

7. Barry M - Red Glitter. Three coats.