Thursday 24 September 2015

This Girl Can... Can't She?

Being a member of the plus-size community and a lover of fashion is a difficult thing to do in 2015. And honestly, I can't believe I even need to write that. 

Things are better than they used to be; gone are shapeless swathes of drab and misery that fat people were conditioned to hide in for twice the price of straight-sized clothing (unless you're looking at Lisa Riley's new line, apparently made for "real women", probably because pretend women don't feel the need to get dressed in very expensive and very boring clothes) and we are actually encouraged to make the most of our bodies, flaunt our curves and dare to dress in bold and beautiful clothing.

So what's the problem? Well, nothing, if you are what the plus-size industry deems an "acceptable fat". If your size 20 body has a flat stomach, wide hips and a small waist, you are the target market of brands like Evans, who boldly cried that Style Has No Size with pictures of women who were around the same height, had not an inch of VBO between them and had slightly larger thighs than a straight-sized model, qualifying them to represent basically none of the customer base of your average Evans store. 

Does Style Have No Size?
Across the pond, at the height of the "we love fat people! My best friend's cousins are fat people!" media storm, Lane Bryant created the hashtag #plusisequal, a tag meant to level the playing field for plus size and straight size shoppers and state the obvious to the retailers of the world: fat people have money to spend on nice clothes too, and shouldn't be excluded from fashion because of their size and shape. Lane Bryant decreed that even women up to a US34 should be celebrated equally in the fashion world, and they topped this off with their own line of t-shirts for all those women who wanted to spread the message. Except that those t-shirts only made it as far as a US28, excluding the top-end of plus-sizes that the entire cause was set up to represent fairly and equally. Unfortunately, Lane Bryant have been made aware of this serious error but stand by it, claiming they don't understand the issue with only providing a limited range of sizes. The hashtag #plusisnotequal was set up in response, as this epic media-fail reminded us, yet again, the restrictive nature of fashion if you dare to be fat and happy.
Of course, if you wanted to lose weight (and I am most certainly not suggesting that anybody should), you'd think that you could actually buy some clothes to exercise in. Guess again. Forever21's range of "Active Wear" peaks at a US14, telling UK women above a size 18 that active clothing is not marketable to somebody of their body type. Feminist marketing campaign "This Girl Can", started by Sport England, encouraged women to love their bodies and celebrate their strength, challenging the stereotype that women were weak and delicate. However, in another marketing failure, a range of fantastic t-shirts have been released to celebrate female strength. Up to a UK22. So apparently this girl can, as long as she is thin enough.
This Girl Can
Tired of constantly being misrepresented and misunderstood by the retailers in the plus-size fashion world (and actually beyond that, because why shouldn't we be allowed to shop in any clothing store?), my friend Katt over at A Curvy Cupcake started the hashtag #thisisplus. The hashtag was created for all plus sized people to speak up about how they felt underrepresented. I don't look at adverts for plus size clothing and campaigns and see somebody who looks like me, I see somebody that the media considers the "best of a bad bunch". I want retailers to see that we are not a bad bunch, we are sassy ladies who love fashion and want to flash our cash just like any other person. To me, #thisisplus is my cry to retailers to look at me, look at my body type, and represent me. And maybe, finally, make being plus-size and loving fashion be a given, not a challenge.

Saturday 19 September 2015

Our Wedding: Part 2

If you didn't see our stress-free 'day 1' post, click here so you know what I'm talking about!

On Saturday morning, we had to wake up pretty early. Jay had to go back to Milton Keynes, pick Jelly's best friend up and pick up the few last things. We figured this would take a couple of hours each way, so he left at around 7 in the morning I think, after we had a nice cup of tea from our new Mr & Mrs cups. I went to my Mum's cottage next door (my family rented all of the holiday homes onsite) and we chatted and looked through the photos from the day before as she got to work making some food for the buffet table later on. I had hired my friend (and second maid-of-honour) Kathy to do my make-up and I got a text from her at about 10am saying she'd arrived, so my Mum and I made our way up to the main house so I could start organising bridesmaids and food up there. All of the decorations were at our holiday home in big, heavy boxes, so they would have to stay there until Jay got back with the car and could take them all up.




When I got up to the house, I started STRESSING. I was concerned that the ceremony would begin at 3 and nothing would be ready. I had lots of lovely family around me who plied me with wine and told me that the wedding being postponed would be fine, because we didn't have a priest or anything who would be kept waiting - my Mum's husband was performing our garden ceremony, so we were completely on our own time frame. I had more wine, started to calm down a bit, but I felt pretty anxious as I got no response from Jay, or got texts from him saying he was still in Milton Keynes. I didn't see how he could get back in time. Nobody let me do anything, which was lovely of them, but also caused stress at the time because I just wanted to get stuck in and get everything done. As friends and family arrived, some of them got to work setting everything up. I had planned the decorations on my own, so when Jay got back and didn't know the answer to anybody's questions, I was getting constant calls asking what went where and who was to do what. I just drank more wine and ended up telling everybody on the phone I didn't care where it went, just put it where it looked nice. Probably my only Bridezilla moment was how stressed I got with the constant phonecalls and texts that day!

Somehow, it all pulled together. I heard Jay's voice and suddenly my stress melted away. He got to work, my family helped getting the kids ready and preparing all of the food, I got my make-up done and it was time to get into my dress and wait for the moment I was called downstairs because we were all ready to go. I waited inside the patio door with my nearest and dearest, being told that Jay was in position and it was time for me to head over to the garden where our ceremony was about to be held.




As I arrived I heard my Mum say "no, she has no idea yet" and my heart stopped. PANIC. What didn't I know? What had gone wrong? Everyone just smiled and said don't worry, everything is fine. My Dad slipped his arm through mine and we started walking down the aisle. And then I saw it.

Standing next to Jay and his two best men, Stacey and Brad, was my Mum's husband, ready to perform the ceremony. We had told him to wear whatever he felt comfortable wearing, and he did. He was dressed as Batman. Yep. We were married by Batman. It was hilarious and I felt more at ease straight away. We each wrote a set of vows and it was so nerve-wracking having to read a speech infront of everybody, but I felt amazing after I had done it and I'm so glad we decided to write our own. After the ceremony we got our parties together so that anybody who wanted photos could take some (we didn't hire a photographer, instead my Mum very kindly took our photos for us) and then Stacey and his girlfriend Lisa manned the BBQ for the rest of the day while we ate, drank, laughed, chatted, played lawn games, heard speeches (my brother Hugh gave the BEST speech ever) and had a pretty intense swingball tournament.


Our cake toppers


For all the stress, it was a perfect day and I wish I could go back. I'm pretty sure it was the hottest day of the summer and although about 20 people who said they'd be there didn't turn up (and I got apologies from about half of them - the others haven't even congratulated us let alone apologised!) it was actually perfect exactly as it was. I wouldn't change it for the world.


Heather (my Granny), my auntie Kerren, me, Emma (my Mum), my auntie Katy


Getting married by Batman

My two maids of honour, Kathy and Kerren (my auntie)


Instead of confetti we had people blow bubbles over us

My maids of honour and bridesmaids

Jon, Stacey, Hugh, Jay, Brad and Derek (my Dad) - My Dad ended up moving places as Brad gave him a complex being so tall!



Moo wearing Grandad's Batman suit


Jelly enjoying some of the lawn games

My auntie Katy

The moment I spotted Batman









Friday 18 September 2015

Our Wedding: Part 1

It seemed only natural to split this in to two posts, not only to make it less image heavy (the second one more than this one!) but because our wedding took place over two days.

On the morning of the 7th of August 2015, we woke up at our holiday home in Braunston buzzing with nerves and excitement for the day ahead. We decided it'd be easier to head back to ours to get ready, since we had to get married in Milton Keynes anyway, so we packed up our things (along with a big box of much-needed breakfast pastries to line our stomachs) and made our way over to ours, where my Mum and co had stayed the night before.



I did my own hair and make-up on Friday, and spent my morning trying to get ready as calmly as possible. We got the kids sorted, shared breakfast with family and friends and answered texts from those who were wishing us luck, apologising that they couldn't make it or double checking what time they had to be where.

We were getting married at the registry office in Bletchley, and they weren't kidding when they said limited parking on the website. Luckily we had left early and after driving in circles for ten minutes or so, we found a space that gave us one hour and decided we were basically going to have to run back from the ceremony to make it back in time. I'd seen my friend Kathy driving around to find a space too, so I sent her a quick text telling her which car parks not to even bother trying, then told her I'd see her inside.


I love that we have the same "what are you doing?!" face here

Once we were in, Jay and I had a quick interview with a couple of members of staff, one of which being the superintendent registrar who performed our ceremony. We got the fright of our lives when the woman doing the paperwork told us "I'm afraid we have to start with some bad news... We forgot to take a payment from you at your last meeting and unfortunately we can't perform the ceremony until we receive it". Luckily it was just the £4 for the certificate and we were able to find the change for her quickly, but our hearts stopped for just a moment! Jay was taken into the ceremony room and suddenly I was sitting in silence with a woman I didn't know, listening to our wedding CD playing, Moo causing mischief, everybody laughing at him and Jay telling him to sit nicely. I was lead to the hallway, where my brother was waiting (and scolded for playing on his phone!) to give me away. Suddenly it was time. I linked my arm with his, we took a deep breath and in we walked together.



Once we got inside and I saw everybody smiling at me, my nerves all but vanished. I grinned the entire way through the ceremony, and Moo running around behind us, shouting at the top of his lungs and hiding behind curtains and under chairs was actually exactly what I needed to break the tension. We laughed, he cried (I didn't! Woohoo!) and we high-fived after we said 'I do', and it was better than I could have planned it. We posed for some photos after signing the register then ambled back to our car. Luckily everything had ran smoothly and we had plenty of time before our parking ran out!

Jelly did a reading of 'You Are Not Your Age'


The rest of our day was pretty relaxed. We headed back to our holiday home, where we had friends and family popping round all day. We bought a tonne of salad and ready cooked chicken and laid it all out for people to grab if they were hungry, Jay and some friends went on some last-minute party errands and I waited in for deliveries and started cooking burgers for the next day. 

I just love how fed up I look walking back here!

We went to bed on Friday night feeling pretty accomplished, commenting that we couldn't believe how stressed out people got about their wedding day. If only we'd known what the next day had in store...









Tuesday 15 September 2015

New Year of Life Resolutions


Okay, granted this is a little lame, but it's in my nature to look for any opportunity for a new beginning and a chance to get motivated. I start my second year of University at the end of the month and am super excited to get back in to my routine, so I guess this time of year is like a new start for me. I turned 25 on Sunday, I start second year in a couple of weeks and we're a hop and a skip away from all of my favourite annual celebrations (Hallowe'en! Bonfire night! Christmas! Hurrah!) so here we go. The perfect time to re-evaluate, get myself in check and make myself a couple of promises for my 26th year.


In terms of the blogosphere, I am sucking right now. Don't think I don't know how sporadic I am! And, hello, what is the point in BLF? I want to set this in stone: I don't want to just be lifestyle anymore. In line with my next resolution, I want to make an effort to start blogging fatshion and beauty as well as just keeping y'all posted on my day-to-day.


It's all about body positivity! I want to find clothes that fit & flatter me and I want to tell every woman that she can be beautiful whatever size she is. That's why I want to get into fashion blogging and provide that platform that I spent so long trying to find. On top of this, I want to find my voice and speak up when I need to. Be that at University, in social situations, whatever. Just stop being so afraid and SPEAK!


I am 100% more positive and motivated when my surroundings are organised properly. I still have piles of paperwork that never got filed properly in first year; I am changing my organisation 'system' and I want to extend that into any aspect of my life that it's possible. I'm comfortable when I know exactly what's going to happen and where everything is. I might as well make that easy for myself!


So many memories slip by me because I forget to take a camera. I know it only means I'm too busy enjoying it, but if I took five seconds out of that happy day to take a photograph of us all having a whale of a time together, we'd have evidence of that memory forever. I want to get more photographs printed and start organising our photo albums. Starting with our wedding pictures.

My social anxiety can get really bad sometimes, so I want to push my own limits this year. Speak up, as I said earlier, but also put myself into situations that I would normally avoid. So if I get invited to a meet-up I won't immediately say no because it's easier to miss out than to stress, I'll think about it seriously - whether that's with one friend or twenty. 

Do you make New Year of Life resolutions? I'd love to hear them!




Tuesday 1 September 2015

Tallulah Dixie.

Please welcome the newest member off our family, Miss Tallulah Dixie Griffiths, or Tilly for short. We picked her up at lunchtime on Saturday from a breeder in Lincoln, making the mistake of telling the kids at the beginning of the week we were getting her - so getting lots of "Is it time to get Tilly yet?" at every opportunity. Finally it was Saturday morning, we had everything we needed, we got minimally lost and got her home again with only one stop (minutes after we left) to wipe poo off a scared little Frenchie.

She is a pedigree French Bulldog and is only eight weeks old. She's brindle in colour, feisty in nature and has captured all of our hearts already. Enough talking, here are some pictures of our gal!

Jelly and I went in to fill out the paperwork and collect her together. The breeder took a goodbye picture!


Now that she's home she's settling in just fine. Jelly is absolutely in love with her, and Moo thinks she's a hoot but is still a little tentative when it comes to getting close to her. He's always been scared of dogs so I'm happy he's even trying, and he'll be sure to be her best friend in his own time. The cats are another story! We've made sure they have lots of places to hide and generally they are just going about their lives pretending there isn't an intruder in their home. If they're forced to be around Tilly they'll puff up and hiss but we won't stand for that, so just let them all stay separate and ignore eachother whenever they do cross paths. Halpert is definitely more aggressive towards her and eyes her up from a distance a lot of the time, and Beesly seems more put out there her perching post (IE me!) is distracted by another little bundle of brindle. We're making sure we each take time out every day to give them their own special attention (and pet the dog smell onto them!) so Tilly can be a settled member of our family once and for all. 


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