Saturday 3 October 2015

Five Tips For Getting Over A Friend Break-Up


Friend break-ups are a necessary part of life; we all grow in our own ways, and its unlikely that paths will continue to intertwine with every friend you've ever had. The happy friend break-up is natural and calm, a simple difference in direction, hopefully with a few coffee dates in the future to catch up and if not, hey, no hard feelings. But sometimes a friend break-up can seem exactly like a romantic break-up in that it is sudden, it is hurtful and your life will never be the same again.


Think of it as self-preservation
If you aren't going to be friends anymore, there is a very good reason: you and that friend were not good for each other. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is decide to just stop fighting a losing battle, look after your own mental health and quit while you're still ahead. And it is totally okay to put your own needs first. You need to be your own number one.

 
Let yourself grieve
Grief happens when our lives will never be the same again, so it is totally okay to wallow when a relationship has ended - just because it wasn't romantic doesn't mean it didn't mean something to you. You can eat that huge tub of ice cream if you want! And it's okay to cry if that's what you need. Similarly, it's cool to just want to be angry and rant for a while. But when you're done, come back to this step. It's natural to feel sad, and it doesn't make you weird.

 
Surround yourself with positivity 
Whether that be other friends, your family, your pets, making headway at work, knuckling down and achieving something - anything - is absolutely the best way to pull yourself out of a funk. Use that negative energy and channel it into self-improvement. When you build the foundations of an amazing new mansion, you don't feel sad about the dirty little shack you left behind.

Reflect on the experience 
What about this friendship didn't work? Should you have been more assertive? Were you too assertive? Be honest with yourself so you can be a better friend to others. Or just learn what to look out for and avoid in other people in the future.

 
Break-ups are not a competition 
You might need to be around your ex-friend a lot, due to mutual friends, working or going to school together or just happening to frequent the same places. Be strong. Just because the ex-friend looks confident and like your break-up hasn't stung them at all doesn't mean that is the truth. And if it is, I guess you made the right decision getting the hell out of there. Don't get drawn into bitchiness, "who is more over whom" competitions, fake niceties or, worse, a full blown argument. Keep a cool distance; you are not in eachother's lives for a reason, so continue to stay out of eachother's lives now. You don't need that kind of negativity creeping back in.

  
Other than that, just be you. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your friend was in your life for a reason, and now there is a better reason that he or she isn't. Be a good person, be strong and make some bad-ass new pals. And if those ones don't last either, there are plenty more bad-asses in the sea. Look for the ones who give you strength and you will never go wrong.


1 comment:

  1. It's always good break-up for u! It's seems that those people wasn't for u! And u'll find better one! I understand that it's always hard to survive it that's why I've found a solution https://kovla.com/blog/5-vital-steps-start-dating-bre.. . After that u'll be able to begin a new life! Good luck!

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