Dear Sammie the Fat Shamer

Dear Sammie,
 
I don't know you and you don't know me. I had never heard of your blog until you earned your medical degree and told us all that hundreds of scientific studies are wrong and that you are the sole researcher in plus size health (oh you didn't? Shocking.) and you hadn't heard of mine until I linked you to this post. You'll pretend you haven't read it, because that's what you've done to everyone who has presented you solid evidence so far, but hey. If you can exploit your narrow mind for views, why don't we all join in? I'll do it with proper grammar. I don't know what you "was" thinking when you wrote your last post.

I'm not even going to bore you. You know that some illnesses can cause obesity, you're just in too deep to backtrack. You know that mental health is a factor that can lead to illnesses relating to obesity, as well as illnesses regarding reproductive health, or illnesses which affect movement, because you've ignored the evidence proving this countless times over the last few days. And heck, illness or not, my body is not your concern - the only body you should worry about is your own, especially when you are causing people harm under the guise of help. The body you proudly announce you fill with tequila. I won't lecture you on what that does to your health because, guess what? YOUR health is not MY concern. For all I care you can pickle that liver, lady!
 
In fact, I was able to laugh off everything you said as ignorance and idiocy, nothing that hadn't been disproven before, until you decided to bring kids into it.

Now let me make this clear. I am "short, fat and proud of that". I put some solid man hours into these rolls (sarcasm, darling. Don't raise your blood pressure. Your risk is as great as mine with your alcohol consumption) and I reserve the right to rock them as I see fit. But I have two children and one of them happens to be a nine year old girl. And having her grow up in this whirlpool of self esteem and concern trolls is something I cannot, and will not, let happen.

This is Jelly. Like I said, she's 9. She wears age 12-13 clothing. She isn't fat, but she gets told she is. She got hips from her mama (biologically not me); the same person who gave her her flair for long-distance running (which I'm sure you'll agree takes fitness and motivation). Did you know that society told her to stand at the side of the playground doing jumping jacks because she doesn't fit into age 9 clothing? Did you know that when she was 8 she hid when getting changed at school because she noticed her stomach wasn't as flat as anybody else's? I'd let you know that she stopped eating snacks after that but you'd probably congratulate her. After all, it was you who said that "anorexia takes will power". (I tried to link to your tweet but it shows it has been deleted. Maybe you have some sense that you have overstepped the mark after all) EDIT: I found a screenshot, in all its glory. How AWFUL are you?! I've left your Twitter handle in, because I know how much you're loving the exposure this has brought you.

Jelly is hilarious, strong, fantastic at art, charismatic, personable, empathetic, a bundle of energy and friendly to everybody she meets. But, had she seen your words a few nights ago, she would have been told she was nothing more than the added elastic in her waistband. You are clearly a young woman with a lot of potential; you have shown me that you are committed enough to see an issue through to its bitter end, and I think that if you had some facts behind you and fought for the right things you could even be unstoppable. So why not drop the fight against beautiful bodies (who are usually much healthier than you give them credit for - do the research) and join us in the fight to tell every man, woman and child that he or she deserves to be beautiful, strong and wear fantastic clothing. You never know, it might help you with your own self esteem too.
 
Good luck with your research, and while you wait here is a post which will tell you how seriously people take medical advice over social media. Just so you don't waste your time again.
 
Busy Little Fee xo

Five Tips For Getting Over A Friend Break-Up

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Friend break-ups are a necessary part of life; we all grow in our own ways, and its unlikely that paths will continue to intertwine with every friend you've ever had. The happy friend break-up is natural and calm, a simple difference in direction, hopefully with a few coffee dates in the future to catch up and if not, hey, no hard feelings. But sometimes a friend break-up can seem exactly like a romantic break-up in that it is sudden, it is hurtful and your life will never be the same again.


Think of it as self-preservation
If you aren't going to be friends anymore, there is a very good reason: you and that friend were not good for each other. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is decide to just stop fighting a losing battle, look after your own mental health and quit while you're still ahead. And it is totally okay to put your own needs first. You need to be your own number one.

 
Let yourself grieve
Grief happens when our lives will never be the same again, so it is totally okay to wallow when a relationship has ended - just because it wasn't romantic doesn't mean it didn't mean something to you. You can eat that huge tub of ice cream if you want! And it's okay to cry if that's what you need. Similarly, it's cool to just want to be angry and rant for a while. But when you're done, come back to this step. It's natural to feel sad, and it doesn't make you weird.

 
Surround yourself with positivity 
Whether that be other friends, your family, your pets, making headway at work, knuckling down and achieving something - anything - is absolutely the best way to pull yourself out of a funk. Use that negative energy and channel it into self-improvement. When you build the foundations of an amazing new mansion, you don't feel sad about the dirty little shack you left behind.

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Reflect on the experience 
What about this friendship didn't work? Should you have been more assertive? Were you too assertive? Be honest with yourself so you can be a better friend to others. Or just learn what to look out for and avoid in other people in the future.

 
Break-ups are not a competition 
You might need to be around your ex-friend a lot, due to mutual friends, working or going to school together or just happening to frequent the same places. Be strong. Just because the ex-friend looks confident and like your break-up hasn't stung them at all doesn't mean that is the truth. And if it is, I guess you made the right decision getting the hell out of there. Don't get drawn into bitchiness, "who is more over whom" competitions, fake niceties or, worse, a full blown argument. Keep a cool distance; you are not in eachother's lives for a reason, so continue to stay out of eachother's lives now. You don't need that kind of negativity creeping back in.

  
Other than that, just be you. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Your friend was in your life for a reason, and now there is a better reason that he or she isn't. Be a good person, be strong and make some bad-ass new pals. And if those ones don't last either, there are plenty more bad-asses in the sea. Look for the ones who give you strength and you will never go wrong.

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